Friday, June 29, 2007

Top 10: Things I will not miss about pregnancy

10. My pregnancy "uniform". The first trimester is spent squeezing into the same 2 or 3 pants that still fit before you break-down and go buy maternity pants. And then the last month or more is spent wearing the only shirts/pants that actually cover your belly. Also, my flip-flops. I have spent the last 6+ weeks in the same shoe due to swelling with this heat. They are comfy and I love 'em... but I am also so over the limited shoe wear (plus, they are getting stinky!)
9. The pains. First it was sciatic nerve back pains in the first trimester. Now its my "nether regions" that ACHE from holding up 27 extra pounds. Getting up out of bed really exaggerates this pain, too - ouch!
8. Stuffy nose. Everyday I have to blow my nose. And at night, I can't breathe causing me to snore... this must be the "glowing" part they talk about with pregnancy.
7. The unyielding belly. The limited range of motion is tiring, but you do get used to it (surprisingly). At the same time, it would be nice to bend without looking like an old man about to topple over. Reaching my feet again would be exciting, too.
6. Banging into door knobs with my belly. Specifically, my belly button. Oddly enough, the knobs in my house are at just the perfect height for bumping my already tender belly button again... and again. I've begun walking around with my hands acting like a shield this last month...
5. Prego sex. Eh. It's not all that great. I'm looking forward to prepregnancy sex (And hey! Apparently, with a C-Section, it will be like prepregnancy sex again, too! Fantastic!)
4. Big panties. And unflattering ones at that. No one carrying a baby wears thongs.. and, for some reason, I miss that.
3. Rolling over in bed at night. Jan, my body pillow that I wrap around these days, is great and all... but it would be nice to roll gently from side to side without dragging her with me. Or better still, sleep on my freakin' stomach again!
2. The s-l-o-w waddle. Need I say more? I'd like to pick up the pace again. And, walk with my legs together. Hell, I'd like to be able to CROSS my legs when I sit...
1. Not knowing what's in there. What does she look like? Who does she look like? What's her personality like? (Well, ok, we know stuboorn & finicky already). what the hell have I gotten myself into? What does a "parent" do exactly...

Things that did not make my list (because I never had these experiences: Midnight cravings. Stretch marks (at least, not that I can see yet). Swollen/puffy face, arms, hands, etc (I don't think I'm swollen.... am I?). Extreme weight gain. Morning sickness. Consistent headaches.

** I forgot to add that I will not miss my left side going numb. I think I have a pinched nerve which has provided me with a "marching ants" sensation up and down my left hip since December. Its a fantastic sensation that I'm eager to never experience again. ;-)

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