36 weeks (+ photo!)

You know you are big when you don't hold your shirt up so much as constantly pull it down!
I went to the doctor today, the first offical internal exam... and it was horrible! Now, I had been prepped that it would be "uncomfortable" and maybe even "painful." I can't remember where, but I think I even heard about the doctor using his "ENTIRE HAND." And yet, I still wasn't prepared for how truly awful this experience turned out to be. Ladies, if you haven't been pregnant yet, take note - prepare to get a throat culture via your cervix during this exam. In fact, my doctor joked about reaching for my tonsils just to lighten the air. I appreciated the joke as I tried to not bite through my lower lip. Yikes!
After all that? No effacement and only 1cm dialated. It really, means nothing. But it would have been rewarding if he felt her head or pulled out a gold coin.
What he did confirm at this appointment, is her position. She's still breech. And, based on the way she kicks my thighs when I fold her in half (ie - when I lean forward), I think she's in the complete breech position. And, like this site says about what to expect at 36 weeks: "Most likely she's in a head-down position by now, which is optimal for a smooth delivery, but if she isn't in the next week, your provider may suggest scheduling an "external cephalic version," which is a fancy way of saying she'll try to coax your baby into a head-down position manually, by manipulating her from the outside of your belly. The two main problems with citing that paragraph is that it makes ECV sound universally accepted and easy. Its actually complicated, painful, only 58% successful and doesn't at all cite the very extreme risk of the baby getting the cord wrapped around its neck. I already asked my doctor about this - and he doesn't perform it for the reasons I just stated.
So, now I'm freaked out that she won't flip and that I'll need a C-Section.
I hung out online a bit today to find some of the following suggestions on getting her to flip. Motivational tactics include:
Shining a flashlight on your lower belly so she dives for it. Having Rob call to her through, yes really, my who-ha (apparently she'll flip toward his voice). Prop up an ironing board (against a sofa) at a 45-degree angle and lie on it upside down. And, think positive thoughts and imagine her flipping.
I actually performed the following today after work: the ironing board (dear Gawd, my aching back - this was stupid but, hey, so is not trying), the ice packs and Rob spoke to her brifly through my lower belly.
Well, she did turn. She hated the ice and squirmed away. She actually feels more like a transverse position right now. I feel toes on the side of my belly and it has remained there, so far, all night. I'm afraid to force the issue anymore (I don't want to scare her or piss her off) so we'll see what happens during the night tonight.
I return to the doctor at 38 weeks (he's at the beach next week) so I figure I have 13 days to get this kid flipped. Technically, she could flip after 38 weeks, and I cannot cite the stats here, but the odds are pretty slim.
I did find out that I am at 28 lbs at this visit. I'm gaining weight at a pretty steady pace (phew!). I feel like celebrating... although I did have a 2 cupcake dessert last night and half a rich milk chocolate bar tonight. This is still a marathon, I must keep the candy celebration slow & steady...