Breastfeeding on the decline... pass the wine, please!

Max is 6 weeks and 6 days old.

Maybe about a week ago (or slightly less) we decided to try and give Max a bottle (formula) for the middle-of-the-night feeding. I was, frankly, just done with having to feed him at 5/6PM-ish, 7/8PM-ish, 10PM-ish, 2/3AM-ish, 5AM-ish and then again at 7AM-ish before calling the start of a new day. He'd sleep 4+hrs no problem during the day but we'd be lucky to get 2.5-3hr stretches at night. I was worn-out and thought A. Rob getting to take some feedings off my hands would be a welcomed relief and B. Maybe the formula would make him sleep longer stretches.

Eh, Max isn't sleeping remarkably longer at all. We take turns giving the 2/3AM-ish bottle but he still wakes up 3hrs later. So much for formula making a baby sleep longer stretches.

I also noticed that first night I had to get up and pump while Rob gave a bottle. I was going to burst. The next night I pumped but maybe stopped halfway. The third night I just slept (well, laid there since we still have Max in our room and we tend to use feeding times to talk) there. I think after 5 nights... I no longer got that "tingly, full feeling" and my need to feed was behind me. I also wasn't making a huge mess in the morning (I sneezed one morning after having not fed Max at midnight and it caused me to letdown... I was soaked within minutes... this was both hilarious and humiliating. Ah, nature...

So here we are about a week into this alteration and I'm finding I need to give bottles before the midnight feeding. Last night I nursed Max around 9PM but decided to give him a bottle immediately following (he just seemed hungry still)... he took in an additional 2 ounces of formula on top of the nursing. Tonight I nursed him at 7:30PM, and by 8:15PM, it was evident he was hungry again (maybe still, who knows)... he took a 5 ounce formula bottle no problem.
Sheesh!

So, I think my nursing days are dwindling. The night-time feedings certainly are.
I know nursing moms encounter this often and really work at getting their supply back (more rest! more water! more relaxation! more nursing to get the supply ack!) but I'm going to be honest... I really am not fighting this too much. I like nursing and planned to actually do it longer with Max than I did with Evie (I stopped at 9 weeks with Evie but then decided to not stop 2 days into it, got my supply back up a bit before giving in entirely around 13/14 weeks total).
But, why be selfish with wanting to continue something I clearly have no time for (Evie needs my attention, too,.. and I'm obviously not keeping up with my own health to keep up a healthy production/supply) and something that is satisfying Max's hunger needs.

With this post, I pour a second glass of wine knowing I will not need to pump-&-dump since I will not be feeding something for the 7 hours needed to clear out the alcohol in my bloodstream. I also pass a virtual 'cheers!' to all the moms who were more successful at this than me. I'm just glad I have stuck it out this far and who knows... maybe some feedings won't go away entirely for a little while longer.

*side note*
Rob just turned to me, while feverishly burping Max, "I'm so glad the midnight feeding is yours tonight."
Me, "I know. I was just thinking about it. I hate it."
"I hate it, too."

:-)

Max Learning How to Smile - Work in Progress

Max is 5 weeks and 2 days old.

Max - 1 month old stats

Went to the Dr. today.
Max's stats are as follows:

Weight - 10lbs 14oz (75% percentile)
Head Circumference - 39cm (50-75% percentile)
Height - 22.5in (75% percentile)

Max - 1 Month Old

Phew. Already?
Where does one begin... summarizing a first month of life is, well, BIG 'cause so much has happened.
You entered this world with 3 major surgeries under your belt all within the next 24hrs (this was, in a word, insane): You were born via C-Section and had your umbilical cord cut, then a circumcision the very next morning and a lingual frenectomy mere hours after the circumcision was performed. Poor boy, its amazing how much you took all this in stride... then again, maybe its good you didn't know any better quite yet. But I can't help but think you must have hated the idea of the "outside world" after having endured all this right away after birth.
You don't have your 1 month check-up until 3 days from now (surprise! you'll have a series of shots awaiting you, I am terribly sorry for this) so I do not know what you weight as I post this but I can assure you - its a lot. You really are my chunky-monkey. You put on 10 ounces in just 7 days at your 2-week check-up so I can only imagine what you weigh now. You already have chubby folds in your thighs, a big bullfrog belly, a double chin and your face has filled-out. Trust me, this is all good. You are absolutely adorable even though I keep forgetting you are still just a little guy. I often times push you to stay awake... or to sleep... or to eat more... or to go for longer periods of time without being held... all because I keep forgetting you are still so very brand new.
You are strong. The day you were born they put you on my chest to go into the Recovery Room with me. I nursed you (briefly) and laid you on my chest. Everyone witnessed you pick up your head and move it from one side to the other. I don't mean you slide your face along my chest either... you picked up your head with full clearance! It was amazing. That never happens with newborns! In the last week dad and I have marveled at you lifting your head up, when we hold you in a burp position over our shoulder, for 5 minutes of more. Your head doesn't bobble either! You look like a prairie dog just looking at the world over our shoulders!
You're noisy! You grunt, squawk, chirp and make these "aroo! aroo!" sounds (although those ones are much more recent). You mostly make the grunts at night when you settle back down after nursing. At first it was quiet and brief but in more recent days you drive daddy and me crazy! You can't *ahem!*, *grunt, grunt*, *yawn*, *ahem! ahem!* for upwards of 15 minutes after being put down before you finally quiet. And even then, you'll make these sounds continually in your sleep. You must be a light sleeper at night because during the day - silent sleeper. This may actually be very true considering the night nurse at the hospital told me you tended to wake up at 3:30AM. You actually did have dad and me getting up with you around 2AM on more then one occasion when you first came home. Dad and I ended that within the first 3 weeks and we have not heard you babbling in your crib, awake, since then.
Along with your vocal sounds - you "fart like a trucker!" as your pediatrician said at your one week check-up. I've actually read somewhere that new babies do NOT like to expel gas... but oh, not you. You are my little 'Windy Winston'. You don't even both to rear up or crunch up your legs. You'll lay there in the dead of night and let out long... slow... brrrraaaappps That will end with en exclamation point, "toot! toot!" at the end. Sometimes I'll be nursing you while sitting up in our bed, your bottom closest to daddy's sleeping face and you'll just blast away. Its really quite awesome. I don't know if daddy finds it nearly as entertaining as I do.
While on gross topics, you still go poo quite frequently - mostly at night and ALWAYS in the midst of eating. I call you my baby bird in these instances since that's when baby birds end to go, too - while eating. We've only had one true "blow-out" with you since being home (which is good) but boy do you make a mess! Its a good thing diapers come up so high on you on both the back and front. Two words: Pumpkin soup. That is all... moving on...

You are still nursing. I did this for 3 months with Evie and had hoped to do it longer with you... but there have been some insatiable times with you that have left more more than just a wee bit frustrated. We have given you formula in small doses here and there (dad says 5 occasions) either during a feeding frenzy or because you dozed off in the middle of nursing. Which, brings me to another recent topic, you were all about sleeping 3-4hr stretches during the day recently but up almost every 2 hours at night. You had become the dreaded "snacker" and I couldn't wake you up to eat and achieve a full belly no matter what I tried. And believe you me, I tried! After pouring ice cold water on your neck one night during a 2AM feeding, I realized we had a big problem on our hands. You simply will not wake or eat... or comply with anything if you don't want to (stubborn little thing!). We seem to be on a better track in just the last 3 days... so here's hoping month 2 is even better! Your patterns are becoming a wee bit more predictable (thank goodness! Mommy likes a schedule or at least a hint of what to anticipate!). You now eat around 8:30/9PM and fall asleep around 10PM (which is hard on us after being up and going all day since 7AM), and then you eat at/around 1AM and again at/around 4AM before getting up for the day around 6:30/7AM. You are currently eating 8 times a day total... you dropped your 9th feeding somewhere just a few days ago. I don't miss it at all, wink.
You started smiling in just the last 2-3 days. No really, I swear. You smile at me when in a good mood (generally on a full tummy) and I see both dimples. You also love it when I move my face very slowly toward yours and then quickly kiss one cheek all over. The anticipation of which cheek I'll kiss makes you open your mouth in a half smile and I can tell you love it. I'm still not as popular as the ceiling fan... but I am quickly becoming a close second. I am finally moving up from just "food source" and I see you look across the room in my direction when I talk. I love it. Daddy saw you smile for the first time today... I keep telling him to run over and catch you in the act but you still aren't quite sure what a smile is... so it drops almost instantly into a furrowed brow after you offer a big grin. Dad always catches the after-smile look of bewilderment on your face but today you smiled for him... I could tell he was excited because he turned up the baby talk at that point (and he hasn't done that with you at all till just today, *wink*).
We've been going on power/stroller walks in the mornings for the 2 weeks or less. This spring is record heat (98˚ in late May!) so sometimes I skip it if we get up too late. I personally love the power walks (so good to get outside!) and you enjoy them if you remain awake. If you fall asleep (which happens every time so far) you get cranky with the pacifier falling out every minute. Our trips tend to end abruptly at that point.
What else? What else?
You love to be held - I mean love. You will fall asleep in a tight little ball... chest to chest just under my chin... slumped over... panting softly.
You furrow your brow in deep concentration... or just trying to understand what it is you are looking at. You aren't much of a body language expressive (maybe it just hasn't happened quite yet).
Your hair, initially light brown when born, is looking more and more red. Surprise! You are going to look just like your big sister and mommy... apologies in advance for being called a "ginger" by your father.
You make quick little chirping sounds while having quick bursts inhaling... just after pushing back with a fully belly. It always ends with one upturned corner of your mouth. The cutest open-mouth smile of all (so far)...

I'm anxious to see what month 2 brings. Hopefully we'll see more of you awake, experience more of your personality and start to understand you even more...

The Ullman's - An Evie Portrait

I asked Evie to draw a picture of her family... for Father's Day.
You would have thought I said, "If you don't eat this fist full of boiled cabbage, I'll leave you curbside in the rain!"
Evie pouted... stamped... dragged her toes over to her easel... whined and told me to "not look at [her]!"
And when she was done, she whined for my attention and offered a half-cocked smile.
Geez, Picasso. I knew art had drama, but c'mon. And just look at it - its great! Why the fuss?

Left to right: mom, dad, Evie and Schwally (with blue hair).

First Week of Summer Camp 2011 (LPCWP): Henry and Evie

Faux Pax

Later afternoon, while out at Cartwheels & Coffee with both kids to meet up with N and her three kiddos, I noticed something wet while holding Max. At worst I thought he peed on me and frankly, didn't care all that much... until I moved him aside to see that it was my *ahem* boob that was all wet.
Ah, geez, really?
I looked at N and must have turned either white or bright red as I tried to laugh it off but how could I be so stupid as to let this happen...
Me: "Whoops, well, I guess I'll have to do something about this {fumbling for a burp cloth}."
N's most appreciated rebound, "Ah, who cares. Just put a baby over it {I move Max to my wet side}, yeah, there you go. I can't see it."

The Fussy Evening Hours...

On Friday evening, we went to a neighbor's house for a "post-work cocktail hour." I got a little frantic with trying to herd the cats out of my house... Rob was making a drink, my mother was changing her outfit, I had to grab a cucumber salad I made, and Schwally had recently eaten but he also tends to nurse every 2 hours from 4PM to 10PM (and a feeding hour was quickly approaching). The event was 5:30-7:30PM and it was already 6:10PM. That, and Rob wanted to leave at 7PM to go play hockey.
I was getting tense.
Evie walked over with me & the baby... my mother and Rob not too far behind.
As soon as we got there, Schwally started yelping to eat so I breezed indoors to go nurse. I nursed on the one side and thought that would be enough for him to go on for 30 minutes (especially since we would be leaving in half an hour anyhow).
Nope, it wasn't. He fussed within 10 minutes and I ducked back inside to finish nursing. I made it back outside in time for Rob to leave and spent the next 5 minutes trying to round up Evie to head home. Schwally fussed a lot more and my mom skirted on out and back to my house.
The screaming had begun.
To make this long story short, Max screamed and writhed from 7:30PM until after 10PM.
We rocked, we walked, he held, we soothed, we "shhhh'd!", we put him in a pitch black room, we paced, we gave him a pacifier and even held it in place while we screamed around it, we swaddled and we tried a bottle, and finally, I even tried to nurse some more. Nothing worked.
He acted as if he had to burp... or was really upset at something... like maybe I had clipped the tip of his thumb while trimming his nails (yes, I did this when he was 1 week old, it was awful). Only thing was, this went on and on...

My mother held Max from 9-9:45PM before handing him off to me. I held him until 10PM and he settled in my arms... his tenseness finally going limp. I gingerly walked him into my room and laid him down... within seconds, "W-A-H-H-H!!!"
My mother walked in and offered to hold him so I could sleep. I'd be stupid to pass this offer up.

At 2AM I could feel the "urge" to nurse and popped awake. There was no baby in the room so I walked out to the fold-out sofa to see my mother (in the darkness) laying on her side with Max propped up on her shoulder & swaddled in her arms. She stared at me like a raccoon caught in a dark house at midnight.
I actually had to keep from giggling and asked, "Why in the hell are you still up? You never put him down? Have you been sitting in her... awake... all this time?!."
Response, "Yep. I was afraid he'd cry if I put him down."
Me, "Oh my God, mom."

I fed Max and laid him down - he was fine the rest of the night.

Fast forward to last night,... the following night (Saturday).
My dad arrived in town and we were watching TV (yes, at full volume because my parents are hard of hearing. They can't seem to hear what they are not watching while yelling at one another over the noise of the TV... *sigh*). It was 8:30PM and I had just finished nursing Max for the second-to-last time for the night. He ate at 6:30PM, 8:30PM and, typically, eats one last time around 10/10:30PM before staying down till around 1AM.
I was sitting in the living room because Max was wide awake after his 8:30 feeding. Now, this is new because he has always drifted off to sleep for the night after a 7:30/8:00PM feeding. I went into the living room to play with him since he was so awake. Moments into this decision, the writhing started. I thought, "Well, maybe he is tired after all... I'll give him a pacifier and hold him close till he falls asleep."
Nope.
The screaming around the pacifier began. I burped him on my shoulder... he liked being upright until he started fussing there, too. I bounced and rocked... I looked at my mother, "Its last night all over again."
"Oh no," she said.

Max fussed until 10PM. I suppose I can't complain too much since this time it was only for 1.5 hours verses the 3hrs from the night before, but I went ahead and researched colic anyway while my mother held him. Colic: How to Cope.

We were already doing everything the article suggested so I did relax a bit knowing that we were on the right track to helping Max. At the same time I thought, "Oh no, will we being doing this every night for the next 7-8 weeks?" (The article says Colic peaks at 6 weeks old and suddenly ends at 3 months old. May is now 3.5 weeks old... the age when Colic begins, incidentally).

At 10PM last night my mother handed Max to me and I pulled him into bed with me. He was swaddled and had a pacifier. He was tight but starting to relax... his eyes lolling about in his head. It was evident he was exhausted and maybe even a little frightened at whatever is ailing him. Thankfully this didn't last long and he soon drifted asleep. I turned off my TV and laid in the dark with him... at my side and in my arms.. until 10:30PM. I gently laid him down and snuck into bed with my fingers crossed... he stayed asleep (phew!).
I watched the clock thinking he'd wake up any minute expecting his 10:00/10:30PM feeding but I was greeted with continual silence. I drifted off myself.
At 2AM I awake to Max's sputters and grumbles that he does when he starts to arouse. I counted the hours on my fingers - 5.5hours w/o nursing! WOW! This is a great run albeit slightly painful for me (that's a long run for a nursing mom who's been on another, more frequent, schedule).

Today is Sunday and my folks leave.
I shared the details of the night before with Rob who had spent the last 2 nights out of the house and had not experienced this fussing firsthand.
I am hopeful this was just a phase or perhaps over-stimulation for such a small munchkin. But I'm also prepared for the possibilities that we may be entering hell. I'll post again and share which was this situation falls....