Monday, July 2, 2007

That's baby Ullman's birthday.
You know these things when you schedule a cesarean.
Yup, a C-Section.
A surgical delivery.
A not-so-happy & reluctant mom will be getting cut open sometime Monday afternoon... and then will be able to meet her daughter, hopefully, very soon after.
Why the C-Section? In a word: breech.
Baby has sat upright facing out (to my left) since I was able to recognize that this hard, round object was indeed, a head. If you've been reading my blog, you know that my prenatal instructor recommended lunges and gently messaging her to flip around. I've tried sitting inverted on an ironing board, ice packs on my belly and coaxing her downward with a flashlight. I've been hopeful that she'd flip as the date drew closer... and I've been preparing for the realities that she never will.
8:15AM - We went to the doctor for my 38th week check-up. Rob went to help me remember the list of questions... and to help me remember the answers (I am both forgetful and not listening these days). The doc asked right away, "Any questions?" I told him it depended what he found out (knowing we are watching a breech baby). He poked her head, "I feel something hard and round here still," he squeezed and pinched above my public bone, "and something soft here like a butt."
I left the doctor's office 2 weeks ago pissed off at the baby like it was all her fault. All her fault for being so stubborn. And stupid. Doesn't she want to work with nature? I cried and I later got over it hoping there was still a chance she'd flip. Today, I just cried. He said, "I think we should schedule." And I just cried. Rob saw the pending waterworks so he hoped up and sat with me on the table before the flood. Smart man. Lucky wife.
I motioned for a tissue next to the doctor while Rob took over explaining that I was just scared and nervous having never had a major surgical procedure before. And, he's right. It was nice that he took over.
The doctor then says, "So Michelle will set something up for Monday or Tuesday."
Monday or Tuesday? Holy sh*t! Like, in a week? I lose a weekend? I mean, I knew this pregnancy would end, and soon, but in a week? I just... it changes everything. The KNOWING the date changes all your emotions. Its kind of relaxing, really. I no longer have to worry about when it will happen or what do contractions feel like or how long will labor be or will my water break at the office. But, its also disappointing cause there are really no surprises left yet. We didn't wait till the end to find out what sex the baby is and now we aren't even going to be surprised about her birth/ birthdate.
I feel a little like a cheater. I won't know what contractions feel like at all. Don't get me wrong - I went into the doctor's office prepared to tell him that I did NOT want to go into labor knowing she'd still possibly be breech and ultimately delivered cesarean. I've known people who had to push and try and struggle... only to have it all end with the doctor taking the baby. F*ck that.
But, maybe the next one, ...right?
So, we have yet to schedlue the time but it will be Monday July 2nd afternoon. I wanted the 3rd (I like odd numbers, particularly the number 3) but apparently it was all booked. I don't think the doctor wanted to push it until the 7th either. So, the 2nd it is. I guarantee I will not sleep the night before and will have chewed off all my fingernails by the time I am strapped down.
4:10PM - Went to the potty at work to find a rather unpleasant surprise. I was spotting. It was actually a bit more than that. My first thought, "Great! Do I have a tampon?"What are you thinking? Snap out of it!
I, literally, ran to my desk to grab a liner that I happened to have. I actually had a co-worker pull a fast left-right move to get out of my way... its funny looking back on it now. It must have been wild to have this belly running at you and then pilaging through their bag.
I ran back to the bathroom stall and called the doctor. Apparently, the cervix is "very vascular" and with the doctor checking me today (1.5cm and 50% effaced) its not too shocking that I'd bleed as a result. Phew! I was told to go home and put my feet up.
I darted home and got into bed from 4:30 - 7PM. I then carted my big butt to the couch where I haven't moved in 2.5 hrs. I think I'll head back to bed soon and read my book. I do, afterall, have 3 days left at work and I need to remain in good shape.
Less than 6 days to go now...