Starving

I'm a little more than worried. I really do not want to become one of those fat girls. The ones that gain 60lbs with their first baby. That's great that you are excited and all. That you find this as a fantastic excuse to "treat" yourself daily throughout your pregnancy. To indulge your every whim because now is when its cute to be heavy. But shit, who are we kidding here? I find it all rather shocking and borderline crazy.
But here I am, not even halfway through the first trimester, and I am constantly starving. I'm ravenous. Its so scary. Scary enough for me to cry. Cry that I simply cannot control it or do a damned thing about it. I'm trying my best to keep myself well fed. I gave up caffeine. I've been eating oatmeal for breakfast (today I might try more protein as in peanut butter on toast). I eat grapes all day. I'm eating spinach salads. I've been drinking and eating sugar free things... And I haven't been eating candy very often.
Normally people barf up everything they eat the first three months. I like bulemic paradise. Me? I have dreams of an old Italian telling me "Manga! Manga!" when sleep.
I am completely. Freaking. Out.