Are you sitting down?

My friend and I always talked about the magical way we would someday tell our husbands that we were pregnant. She would give him a wrapped gift containing a onesie with dad's favorite on it (I'll spare details so the surprise won't be ruined in the future).
I always thought I'd make Rob a rack of baby back ribs, cooked baby carrots (yes, he likes them), new potatoes and baby spinach salad on the side. In the middle of dinner - I'd tell him there was a theme to tonight's dinner. Knowing he'd never get this, I'd begin telling him the menu, little by little, till he picked it up along the way. The fantasy continues with him choking a bit..and gasping, "REALLY?" and a huge happiness would fill the room like sunlight and I'd somehow be spun around in a circles while we embraced gleefully.
Enter reality.
I'm surrounded by pregnant people. D just had a girl 3 weeks ago, T is due in April with a boy and Sunday... was a morning baby shower for C due with a boy in 3 weeks. After this weekend, I went out and bought 2 bottles of wine, a new supply of tampax and go home to sit & wait. My period was due on Tuesday and as time & time again has shown me... It will be slightly late thus leaving me questioning whether or not I'm pregnant. I'll then finally break down and buy a testkit. 12 hours after getting a negative result - it always starts. I'm not buying it this time. I'm hunkering down and waiting.
In fact, Wednesday night and split a bottle with a friend at a bar. I'm late but it was also 2 days late just last month.
Then again,... it was rainy today and the smell of worms outside made my stomach do flips that very morning. hmm...

Today. I call Rob and have him check my calendar. I should have gotten my period this morning. Again, this is my body's way of making me spend countless hours (at work) searching blogs for pregnancy signs only to later get deflated. I ask Rob if I should get a test or not. We asks, "why not?" Little does he know the roller coaster that is MY IMAGINATION and that merely taking a test is anything BUT a mere task.
I split after lunch and run to Target. I grab a test and then decide to buy moisturizer, antacids, soap & anything else so it doesn't look like I ran out on my lunch hour to buy a pregnancy test. The cashier looks at me, sees through my façade and swipes the test. Not the first cashier to catch on to my game.
I head back to work, open the box while driving and shove the test in my purse.
I walk up 4 flights of stairs (I'm really putting this one off for some reason) and head to a far stall in the ladies room. I barely have to pee. I prop the test up on the feminine napkin box while I finish business.
I glance down. One line.
("oh, shocker!").
Flush.
Two... Lines?
("what?")
I run back to my cube and grab my cell. I call Rob.
"Are you sitting down?"