Well, the MIL left last week Thursday (on a 7:50AM flight... poor thing then had to endure a delay which caused her connecting flight in Chicago to go on without her... her 3 hour trip quickly became an all-day-long adventure).
Evie and I were determined to see grandma off, so we got up early, ate and left with the group. We got back home just in time for her next feeding.
Now, backstory: just 2 days prior to this, Evie projectile upchucked nearly all the contents of her stomach shear moments after I finished feeding her. Rob and the MIL ran to my aide to then witness the huge amounts of milk that tumbled out of her and they heard the gasp-gasp-gasping sounds she was making. It was all very upsetting. MIL offered to then take her and I fixed a bottle... she seemed hungry after emptying out everything in her belly. As soon as she got the bottle, (she's not very good with a bottle and she makes it get all drippy) she started gasping and choking again. The MIL referred to it as "strangling on the bottle," which, sounds even more horrible than "choking," if you ask me. The whole scene was very upsetting and we gave up on the bottle all together. Eve eventually settled into a nap.
Fast forward to the day MIL flies out and we are back home feeding. Same thing happens,... again. Puke everywhere. The gasping, the red-faced look of holding her breath, the new mom freaking out screaming for Rob to DO sometthing... anything! And right now!
We cleaned her up and Rob left a VM with the pediatrician. I just know that something is wrong. They return the call after opening for business and we set the appointment for 9:15AM. The nurse takes a look at me, "You need sleep!"
Um, thanks. Stating the obvious, aren't we?
Evie weighs in at 7lbs 13 ounces. This kid has packed on 9 ounces in just 6 days. I'm realizing she may be a chub-chub-chub very soon. This thought makes me laugh.
Eve and I wait for the doctor. She's in a diaper & wrapped in a blanket. I rock/bounce her around the room. Suddenly, "Bleech!" The kid upchucks what mostly looks like water with a little spit up. I run out to grab the nurse so now she can SEE why we are here. Does she have a bug? Is she sick? OMG, I'm a horrible mom for dragging a 2 week old out in public...
The diagnosis? Acid Reflux.
Damned.
We now have to dismantle the hammock-swing she has been sleeping in (Sorry D + C... thanks for loaning it to us for the last 2 weeks. Oh well). She must be kept at a 45degree angle (sleep in a car seat or the swing) and constantly burped. Oh, and she has a prescription for "Axid" which she takes twice a day (the Target phramacy chick says, "If she doesn't like its bubble-gum flavor, we can reflavor it for free." "Um, yeah, she's 2 weeks old... she doesn't know what bubble gum... or cherry or grape is. But thanks, I'll letcha know.").
This... sucks.
Mom and dad are not realizing any joys to parenting.
Evie fusses furiously now just after eating. She squirms and cries and fights off sleep. We burp-burp-BURP her to no avail. Twenty minutes after she falls asleep, "Bleech!" she'll spill all over her clothes (or me or the chair or anything in the milk volcano's pathway). Then we strip everything down and start over. Now Eve's wide awake and crying at full volume and we start all over with the rocking, the bouncing, the burping and consoling. Actually, the consoling is becoming more and more of a "Give up and just give her a pacifier!" moment. Just last night we had a 2 hour ordeal which left us with 1 hour of sleep before the next feeding. *sigh*
I know, I know - this is fairly common. And yes, I know - I know, our problem is nothing compared to the very many things out there that are far worse. But, for some reason, your personal cross to bear ALWAYS seems worse than those around you who have larger, more akward crosses. Rob and I are just needing more signs of this being that "rewarding experience" we've heard so much about. Don't get me wrong - yes, we love her. And yes, she is adorable when out cold napping, happily nursing or awake & interactive. But the choking is unGodly scary (and making us stressed-out basketcases), the spitting up is wearing us out (when will she upchuck and can we risk taking her out in public or will she choke? Did I mention the pediatrician told me what to do if she turns blue? Not something you want to hear as a new mother...), and the hours of coaxing her back to sleep is wearing us thin.
I'm looking forward to this "phase" to wear itself out. And to think, just last week I was lamenting that she took 45 minutes to feed... now she is down in 20/25 minutes but cries for 45 minutes afterward. Oh, what, WHAT is the next phase?
16 comments:
You suck! I didn't realize you were updating over here!!!
Wha?
brooke,
sloane had this too. still does. she takes pepcid twice a day. It really does work and all of that terribleness goes away. You can also put a phone book under the crib mattress if you can bear to let her sleep in there, even if just for a nap. We also bought a sound machine for her nursrey that seemed to calm her down. Let us know if there is anything we can do for you. Also, you have inspired me to blog. hang in there.
Kendra
Kendra! You'll hafta email me your blog address!
The thing that really worries me about the reflux is 2 things, really: 1. The chocking/scary non-breathing thing that makes me think she's going to die
2. The fact that a co-worker's 2-year-old STILL gets sick. Ugh, I don't think I'll be too happy with 2 years of this...
Yep, a sound machine of some kind is a must. We use the "rain sounds" off that "Happiest Baby On The Block" CD. I stuck it on our iPod and set it to repeat. She doesn't need it every night but often enough that the iPod lives in her room. The vacuum will work also or a loud fan is good especially if there's no AC in the house. Basically any loud white noise. As for the chocking on the bottle, are you guys using the Dr. Brown's Bottles? They pretty much solved the gagging problem for Ivy. We were fortunate enough t miss the Acid Reflux stuff, but the spitting up is EVERYONES problem. It does get better. Ivy hardly does it anymore, knock on wood. As for Kendra's blog, there's a link to it on mine/Ivy's as well as one back here, don't ya know!
Brooke,
The breast feeding is bad. I know that I was supposed to have loved it and cherished my time with the baby.. it made me want to hide from her. It hurt, my nipples fell off. I cried. She cried. We went to formula. I had a bottle of wine. All was right with the world. Do it for two weeks. The collostrum (sp?) is gone by then. Screw all the haters.
Kendra
Hi Brooke,
Sorry about the reflux. A number of kids in our Lamaze class had that as infants, but most of them out grew it as their aortic sphincters matured. One other thing to consider is that if the reflux does not improve dramatically over the next few weeks look at changing your diet. You can talk to your ped about doing an elimination diet to see if she is sensitive to the major allergens. Most moms I know who did this after Zantac did not help their little ones, found that there was an underlying food sensitivity.
Now I felt the first few months really did suck. I didn't even have mastitis or reflux to contend with. Of course I did have PPD but didn't know it. But I promise you it does get better. She will start to smile in a few weeks, and damn if that didn't save her status in the house. Eventually she will start to talk, and eventually will say things like "You know what Mommy? I love you". Even though I occasionally want to sell Addie to the gypsys, I don't complete the transaction.
Also:
God bless the sound machine!
We got ours at Radio Shack for $30. We use the "Wind" setting.
Hang in there!
We are currently "charting" the spit up to see if this Axid stuff is working. Yesterday she thre up after every feeding (8 total) except for 2. And, really, it doesn't seem like it could be classified as spit-up. I mean, I leave her laying on my lap long enough to snap my bra back together & when I lift her up to burp her - it flies out at me in a wave (outward by 3-4 inches!) and cascades down everything. It seems like she upchucks 2 ounces. Really? Is this still classified as spit-up?
Yesterday I nursed her wearing nothing but a skirt. I figured if I had to wash one more shirt - I'd scream. Lo and behold... she got me bare chested as soon as she was down with the one side. *sigh*
Screw having to nurse in public worries - how will I ever take this kid in public for any type of feeding! We'll all have to wear raincoats and bring towels.
Thanks everyone for the advice & stories ... they all crack me up and put so much relief on me in this time of frustration. Its really nice to know that the beginning IS rough and it doesn't make you a horrible person for feeling a little less enchanted with the whole parenting thing as a result.
And Kendra - breast feeding can be such a guilt-trip... a happy mom is much better than one who does what the La Leche League tells you should WANT to do. Thanks for the write-up.
having an infant is like having a wild animal in your house, a helpless wild animal that you cannot abandon in the forest. it really does get better, though.
i have not had to contend with acid reflux, but i would like to offer a gentle counter-argument to the sound machine suggestion. (and i offer this with love, and without criticizing anyone's parenting. seriously!) as you may recall, frances hated sleep for the first several months of life outside the womb. hated it. wouldn't do it. ted and i turned to dr. ferber, and all our lives were transformed. frances is napping as i write.
one of ferber's suggestions is that you teach your child should be able to recreate the conditions under which she goes to sleep so that she can get herself to sleep without your help. our fluffy lamb that emmitted ocean sounds stopped emitting ocean sounds after 15 minutes, and wee baby frances could not turn it back on herself, so it was out. of course, if your sound machine just keeps going, i guess you're cool.
i know that in the early days, anything that gets you a few minutes of sleep seems worth it. i will simply say that helping a baby to sleep for real -- that is, all night and for a couple hours at nap times -- is easier if you don't have to do a lot of untraining. this comment is getting way too long, so i will close by reiterating that things will get better -- a little bit every day -- and by telling you that you are free to email or call anytime.
much love to you all,
jessica
so, i started to leave another comment, but it got outrageously long so i turned it into a blog post instead. you might find it reassuring. you, um, might not. it's kind of toughlove (not about you, but about parenting in general), but there is, you know, the love.
there were two other things i wanted to mention, though:
first, are your bottles low-flow infant bottles? i ask because the bottles that came with my pump (medela pump-in-style [like there's anything "in style" about pumping]) had nipples that were way too porous for a newborn. frances barely had to suck to start a gusher. avent bottles for brand new babies worked just fine for us.
and, while i would like to give the whole la leche league a punch in the face, and while i make a solemn vow that i will never, ever direct any more unsolicited pro-breastfeeding comments your way, i will say this: if you decide to stick with breastfeeding, and if you have a good lactation consultant to help you through the rough patches, you will probably find that it gets easier. if it gets easier, you will probably find that you enjoy it, and you may even find that you're really glad you stuck with it. also, it might make it easier to keep at it if you remind yourself that you can always quit later. there were a few months when the only thing that kept me going was a very vivid assortment of weaning fantasies. now i'm finding myself reluctant to give it up, although frances makes it a little bit easier on me every time she bites me.
ok. that's all, for real.
xoxox,
jess
Hey, guys i just wanted to let you know i am praying for healing for all of your babies.
sassy red-head that happend to my baby it was heart-wreching i have three other children and that never happened to either one of them, I woke up breast-feeding my daughter and right after feeding her a few seconds later she threw up very stro ngly it projeted from her mouth and also her nose. I leaned her towards me i knew something was wrong oh my GOD she wasn't breathing. She was'nt making and breathing movements at all she had this awful look on her face and her arms were out-streched, Her eyes were saying mommy please help
me i realized she still is not breathing a few seconds later
i screamed to my husband for help
he runs up stairs and i am hitting her on the back nothings
happening by this point she is turning blue and that is'nt working i tell my husband to call 911 and i began to try and breath
into her nothings happening and
and she's turnig purple and becoming limp i began again breathing into her and still nothings happening i scream for jesus and saying Lord please don't let my baby go like this while begining C.P.R as i am doing
C.P.R i began to breath strong
breaths of air into her and i began to see thick cottage-cheese
look a-like substance coming out of her nose as i am breathing into her i then laid her on the floor as the dispatcher instruted me to do i then again breathed for her
and she let out a little cry by this point the dispatcher on the phone tells me to open the door emergency personel was at my door.
I went down stairs with my baby in hand and as soon as they saw her which by then she still had a blue tinge snatched her and took her to
stabilize her. I was crying and a mess a few minutes later they came and let me know that she was okay and her oxygen saturation was now 100%. Praise Jesus!!!! I just bless him for allowing me to be woke that morning, I thank him for allowing me to respond. I thank
him for allowing the ambulance
to get here on time and i thank
him most of ALL for saving my
baby and hearing my prayer. GOD loves us ALL he DIED so we could live. He gave His life as a GIFT
so we can LIVE now and that's why
we call it PRESENT and and for just now but, forever. JESUS loves us so much that he wants to spend the rest of eternity loving us. NO death in heaven, no diseases, NO pain, No suffering,
No evil just love and peace.
Don't you wanna go there when its your time to go. If you do just
pray this simple prayer.
Jesus, I love you, I beleive you died for me i beleive
rose again, Father i Beleive you are GOD'S son .Lord come into my heart and save me.
IF you prayed that prayer i am so happy for you because Jesus heared your prayer
and all of heaven is rejoicing and he loves you and he's saying
"LOOK AT MY CHILD"
P.s. My daughter is now
3 months old this happened
when she was 22 days old.
"TO JESUS BE THE GLORY".
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