A little fried..

I'm at that place in time where I try to throw too many stokes in the fire because frankly, I am cold (bored) and suddenly the fire rages (too many people get back to me with ideas for get-togethers) and I am temporarily blinded by either joy (yeah! I have so many friends and things going on, this is great!) or stress of the workload (holy crap, I took on far too many things and I am suddenly overloaded with commitments).
This rant will only make sense to a select few (Alycia, Natalie... yes, I am naming you) and the rest may be confused.

Other than the above, I have enjoyed a Monday and Tuesday with Evie at the sitter's. I thought I would be WAY more productive in her absence but have realized its winter and I am completely overwhelmed with the extra time on my hands.... do I paint the entire kitchen or clean out the entire basement? (I chose to do neither).

So here I sit on Tuesday night with only freshly highlighted hair and a $200 H&M clothing bill to show for my time off, but hey... I needed some pamper time, too, so don't wag your finger too closely to my eyelashes, thank you.

I managed to accomplish some things yesterday like switching to Gmail (and manually copying over friends' email addresses), making vegetable stew, putting away CC memorobilia and starting my taxes (yuck).
Today, I showed up to a hair appointment that was slated for tomorrow. To fill my new found time, I went clothing shopping & met a friend for lunch. I later returned to the hair appointment early this afternoon (since they managed to fit me in for a cancellation) and chilled for an hour before Evie came home from the sitter's.
I spent this evening connecting with displaced CC friends and trying to work out the details on a co-worker's baby shower invite I am designing.

I have realized recently that I would make a HORRIBLE stay-at-home mom. I also realize that it is FAR MORE WORK to stay at home than my actual job has ever been. Watching a toddler all day while trying to accomplish anything is exhausting beyond anything I have experienced since my college days. There have been moments in recent days where I have seriously sent praises out to all the single moms out there who do this... ALONE and while working multiple jobs.
I can't wait to start work so I can get back to a routine,
I'm such a man.
I sound like my father's generation. Or hell, his generation before him.
I LOVE being at home, too. Don't get me wrong. I'm all hands on. I love to clean, bake, cook, and take Evie to all new places.
But I am such a better mother on the weekends and at night. Days on end would make me so nasty.
But, maybe Evie doen't notice this - which is good. I don's want her to.
She cried, scratch that, HOWLED when I left her at the sitter's Monday morning after watching her Thursday - Sunday.
She doesn't cry for daddy like that.
Hmmmm. Makes me so sad for her and secretly happy for me all at the same time.
I know going back to work now will make me miss her terribly, too. Its like my summer break is ending and its time to go to a new school with all new students and teachers.
Ah, mixed feelings abound today.