Max - 2 Months Old

I miss your small, velvety head. It used to fit so snugly in the palm of my hand. It felt like a baseball but much, much softer. I would hold you so gently and pet your soft hair. I could watch your heartbeat beating intensely through the top of your head... your hair pulsating up and down with the rhythm - oh, how I won't miss your soft spot. Your tiny head isn't quite twice its original size but it is certainly significantly larger and your soft spot is almost nearly gone (which makes me breathe a sigh of relief!).
Also on its way out is your hairline. Somewhere around 6.5weeks I noticed that the sides of your head were going bald. All babies do. Dad and I had been joking the week before that that all your hair was thinning out lately and that it was due to your head size increasing thus moving your hair follicles further apart. Perhaps this is partly true.

Baby acne hit full force at the top of this month. Thank goodness a friend handed me an organic moisturizer that cleared it right up! You really had it much worse than Evie ever did... you had little pimples on your chest, back and well into you hairline even! Poor baby! I'm happy to report that by 8 wks old - you were beautiful again.

You had your first "major trauma" this month. I never posted about it since it was seriously upsetting. On June 16th, you were 5 weeks old, we went out for a post-dinner walk (all 4 of us). We had been up early that morning... it was one of your infamous 4AM "I'm awake! Play with me!" mornings that left us weary by days end. Dad strapped you in the stroller out front on the cement landing outside our front porch. Evie was up on the porch waiting for us while I grabbed a water and dad grabbed his keys to lock the door. All of a sudden Evie yells through the front door, "Oh no! Oh no!" and we panic. Dad ran so fast I swear I never saw his feet touch the ground. You had rolled down our front walk, down the two steps that lead to the neighborhood sidewalk, and tumbled upside down. The stroller was laying on top of you with the back wheels just spinning. My stomach feel. Fortunately, you were strapped in so you didn't go flying. Instead, your wee head suffered some scraps and you were screaming mad. I grabbed my purse, we threw the stroller in the yard and all 4 of us raced to the ER. The entire escapade lasted only 2 hours (that's fast for an ER visit. They took one look at you, and your age, and saw you right away). The doctor waiting to see if there was a concussion and felt your forehead for breaks, fortunately, you were OK. We bought some medicine to put on your cuts and put you down that night more thankful than ever. Its moments like this that really and truly make you say cliche things like, "Nothing else matters. Hold on to precise moments, they go by quickly." etc etc...



You are drinking more bottles. Mom decided to start weening at 7 weeks when Papa and Grandma came to visit from Ohio. It was evident that you had a strong appetite and mom wasn't keeping up. That, and let's be honest, mom was nursing 8x's a day and feeling a little bogged down. Its hard when your active 4-yr-old goes a wee bit ignored during the evening hours because you have to cluster feed a chunk-a-chunk baby. No offense, Max, but mommy needed some slack.
I still nurse and make bottles but there's no real pattern for any of it. It's funny considering the strict schedule we made Evie adhere to as soon as possible after 6 weeks old. We would like a schedule for you but maybe its just harder given all the activities we have going on... or maybe we know it comes together no matter what. Ah, the wisdom that comes with being a parent once before.
Speaking of bottles, you have very recently begun to freak-out less when you get hungry. I am so relieved that you no longer go from content to STARVING(!) at the drop of a hat. We used to say that you went "from 0 to 100mph." This new 'calmness' is particularly true for midnight feedings. I was thinking we'd never move you to your bedroom since it took both of us to feed you in the middle of the night - one person to make the bottle and one to console you so you wouldn't wake-up Evie. Lately, starting just before 8 wks old, you have been verbally grumbling more before crying aloud. You still panic rather quickly but I think you are learning that we won't let you starve and that we are working on filling up your belly.
Overall, I can really see how the first 6 wks truly is "survival" mode and that everyday after that the clouds begin to lift and things gradually get better.

Poopies: Parents love the topic of poop, lemme tell ya. You used to poop in the middle of the night and with frequency! This made midnight (read: dimly lit room) a crapshoot (pun intended). I'd fumbly with multiple wipes hoping to not make a bigger mess in the process. Now, we can safely say we only experience this once a day or so... its a lot when it happens but at least it isn't at midnight when I am fumbling in the dark. I'm prepared for this to change soon, too, as we ween you off nursing and on to formula.

First road trip! When we realized Evie had no summer school or care (her preschool teacher has been watching her some weekday afternoons), we decided to head on down to Pop-pop and Lala's house in North Carolina. You did surprisingly well sleeping most of the way and needing nursing only once just shy of 30 minutes from our destination (the entire trip is 3.5 to 4hrs long). Getting out of the house was another matter entirely... it took us 5 hrs! Between breaking down your pack-n-play, to throwing out refrigerator food, and choosing just enough of the essentials to remembering to bring along toys to play with... it took forever! I don't know how we are going to manage this fiasco when we leave for the Outer Banks soon.



You turned 8 weeks old just 5 days before your 2nd month. I swear, that 8 week mark holds magic in it. At 8 weeks - laughing! Lala heard it one day and the next day - dad heard it! It has been decribed as a breathy little "chuckle", heh-heh! Mom has yet to hear it. Perhaps I am not as funny looking as dad or Lala.
Also VERY recently: coo'ing! You have always made this "berrrkkkk, bggggg," mumbling/grumbling sound like a frustated rhino. But, lately, we hear more playful squels and breathy "ahh!'s" or "woo!'s" when we make silly faces. The eye contact is something you now love. And your smiles! Oh, your smiles. Once they were gapping maws with a slightly upturned left side but, more recently, they are full-on cheesy grins with squinted eyes and deep dimples on both sides. You really light up a room when you grin. I have been waiting for this moment!


Your hands. A recent discovery. Around 8 weeks (closer to 9 weeks, really) you started shoving both fists excitedly into your mouth. I couldn't tell if this was a sign of hunger or stress at first. Now I think you just love it. When you get a hand in there I hear these loud sucking sounds as you feverishly lick the outside fleshy part on the side of your fist. I've tried substituting toys and pacifiers but have come to realize... nope, you prefer your fists. :-)

I still have yet to enter anything new in your baby album. I get it now. Two kids IS a handful.
I'm actually recently questioning how I'll manage the house, you, Evie and a job next month. I go back to work in just 1 short month. *sigh* I could NEVER be a stay-at-home-mom. I'm not at all cut out for it. I'm better at a demanding work environment. But, this past month does make me realize that stay-at-home-moms have the best world... its one they share with you everyday.

Sleep Patterns: When can I sleep again?

Last night you turned 8 weeks. Dad and I discussed how we remembered Evie having at 2/3AM bottle and then getting up later in the morning than what you do (yes, most likely this is a "rose-colored glasses situation", we are aware).

You had a bottle at 8:00PM-ish (which was a little earlier than it has been lately... its been 8:30-9PM-ish) and you went to bed around 9:20PM. You didn't wake-up for a bottle until 2:30AM! (its been 1:30AM lately... generally 5hrs after your last bottle).
Your next feeding (nursing) was then at 6:15AM! (which is also later than its ever been - you typically get up like clock-work at 5AM...).
Could we finally be moving in the right direction to dropping 2 feedings and just having the one midnight feeding?
Dare I hold my breathe for the possibility?
*sucking in air and closing mouth tight*

**update**
So the night after posting this (basically, the next night) we went out and grandma had to "encourage" you to take a bottle. You didn't take much or ate earlier than normal or some such... end result: you were up by 1:30AM and again around 5AM.
BUT, the night after that we gave you at 4oz bottle at 7PM and a 5oz bottle at 8:30PM (which, we sort of kept you up for and gave to you w/o you really asking for it, wink!) and you slept till 2:45AM again!
Woo-hoo! I think we are on to something liveable soon!

Photos: Fourth of July Weekend

Evie and Max on the morning of her 4th birthday.


Max with Pop-pop in North Carolina.

Evie turns FOUR!

Funny, I turned 34 this year... Rob will turn 40... and Evie turns 4.
I wonder if there's something to all these 4's in our lives this year.
Hey! We even became a family of 4...
OK, self, back away from this mindless philosophical thought vortex...

So, today was Evie's birthday AND her birthday party. So nice it worked out this way!
We celebrated at Kangaroo Jac's with 8 other pre-school aged friends (and a few new baby boys in the mix, too. Seems like there are many recent baby brother additions).

Evie had a morning of gift opening at home with mom and dad. gifts included: Vet Barbie with playful pups, Barbie "fashion" clothing to dress aforementioned Barbie, a play tent that goes on the twin-sized bed (I had one as a kid and loved it!), and a light blue princess dress-up dress.
I was actually shocked that the princess dress didn't get the rave reviews I thought it would. I was both disappointed and elated (could this phase finally be on the decline? Dare I hope???).

Dad and Evie spent some time at the neighborhood coffee shop while I prepared to escape the house. We had to leave at 10:30AM! Can you believe we got there not only on time but EARLY? Evie got 30 minutes extra playtime before guests arrived.

We played, ate pizza, munched rainbow cake and opened tons of presents all in a 2-hr timeframe. Phew!

Best part: Evie crashed hard and took a nice 1.5hr nap afterward. Yippee!

Happy birthday, baby. I love you!

Everybody line-up!

This terrifies me for when Josephine and Evie become 16-year-olds... and Tyler is a driver.

I love thinking how this picture will be reviewed years and years from now with the same nostalgia as when I look at my kiddie birthday parties from the early 80's.

Girlie gifts! Girlie gifts!

The Rainbow Cake Incident

I have been planning this cake for months. What a perfectly delicious way (pun intended) to trick my pre-schooler into thinking her boring cake (boring on the outside) into thinking its boring on the inside, too... but wait! Once it is cute... a rainbow is reveled! Tah-dah!

I followed this blogger's recipe only to have it spill all over the side of the pan and all over the bottom of my oven. I threw aluminum foil in the oven to catch the rest and it looked like, as Rob said, "a clown threw-up." Thankfully, it tasted better.
The cake actually took far longer then expected to cook all the way through. In my haste to get it out of pan, on a plate, iced and hidden before Evie would see it (she was out for the day with a sitter until 5PM)... I flipped the pans only to have it half stick to the bottom. I then attempted to scoop out the bottom and "glue" it back together with frosting. When the mudslide occurred and pieces began hitting the floor... I knew it was over this cake officially sucked.

I screamed out "FUCK!" It made me feel slightly better.
The beer helped more.

Evie came home. She looked at the cake threw the plastic carry-case lid and said matter-of-factly, "what's THAT?"
What is that, indeed.

I decided to send Rob out again for 2 more boxes of cake mix. I started over.
This time I tried cupcakes. Would you believe they all burnt and stuck to the paper? What the hell.

Miraculously, the leftover batter I tried to "use up" by throwing in an 8" pan and into 9 muffin cups (yes, can you believe I happen to have just enough batter to match the number of guests? Its like fate finally cut me some slack)... all turned out FINE. So, that is what I used to make the "masterpiece" shown at the bottom of this post.

I am happy to report it was beautiful on the inside, the moms were impressed, the kiddos ate it all up (they all seemed to like having both cake and a cupcake each)... and everyone was happy.
Phew.


Evie wants to play with the batter. I threaten her life at this point.
The cupcakes looked promising till I burnt them trying to get them to cook through.
It made me happy when the kids all wanted to eat the sun (which, looks like a spider doesn't it?). Birthday girl won. :-)

Breastfeeding on the decline... pass the wine, please!

Max is 6 weeks and 6 days old.

Maybe about a week ago (or slightly less) we decided to try and give Max a bottle (formula) for the middle-of-the-night feeding. I was, frankly, just done with having to feed him at 5/6PM-ish, 7/8PM-ish, 10PM-ish, 2/3AM-ish, 5AM-ish and then again at 7AM-ish before calling the start of a new day. He'd sleep 4+hrs no problem during the day but we'd be lucky to get 2.5-3hr stretches at night. I was worn-out and thought A. Rob getting to take some feedings off my hands would be a welcomed relief and B. Maybe the formula would make him sleep longer stretches.

Eh, Max isn't sleeping remarkably longer at all. We take turns giving the 2/3AM-ish bottle but he still wakes up 3hrs later. So much for formula making a baby sleep longer stretches.

I also noticed that first night I had to get up and pump while Rob gave a bottle. I was going to burst. The next night I pumped but maybe stopped halfway. The third night I just slept (well, laid there since we still have Max in our room and we tend to use feeding times to talk) there. I think after 5 nights... I no longer got that "tingly, full feeling" and my need to feed was behind me. I also wasn't making a huge mess in the morning (I sneezed one morning after having not fed Max at midnight and it caused me to letdown... I was soaked within minutes... this was both hilarious and humiliating. Ah, nature...

So here we are about a week into this alteration and I'm finding I need to give bottles before the midnight feeding. Last night I nursed Max around 9PM but decided to give him a bottle immediately following (he just seemed hungry still)... he took in an additional 2 ounces of formula on top of the nursing. Tonight I nursed him at 7:30PM, and by 8:15PM, it was evident he was hungry again (maybe still, who knows)... he took a 5 ounce formula bottle no problem.
Sheesh!

So, I think my nursing days are dwindling. The night-time feedings certainly are.
I know nursing moms encounter this often and really work at getting their supply back (more rest! more water! more relaxation! more nursing to get the supply ack!) but I'm going to be honest... I really am not fighting this too much. I like nursing and planned to actually do it longer with Max than I did with Evie (I stopped at 9 weeks with Evie but then decided to not stop 2 days into it, got my supply back up a bit before giving in entirely around 13/14 weeks total).
But, why be selfish with wanting to continue something I clearly have no time for (Evie needs my attention, too,.. and I'm obviously not keeping up with my own health to keep up a healthy production/supply) and something that is satisfying Max's hunger needs.

With this post, I pour a second glass of wine knowing I will not need to pump-&-dump since I will not be feeding something for the 7 hours needed to clear out the alcohol in my bloodstream. I also pass a virtual 'cheers!' to all the moms who were more successful at this than me. I'm just glad I have stuck it out this far and who knows... maybe some feedings won't go away entirely for a little while longer.

*side note*
Rob just turned to me, while feverishly burping Max, "I'm so glad the midnight feeding is yours tonight."
Me, "I know. I was just thinking about it. I hate it."
"I hate it, too."

:-)

Max Learning How to Smile - Work in Progress

Max is 5 weeks and 2 days old.

Max - 1 month old stats

Went to the Dr. today.
Max's stats are as follows:

Weight - 10lbs 14oz (75% percentile)
Head Circumference - 39cm (50-75% percentile)
Height - 22.5in (75% percentile)

Max - 1 Month Old

Phew. Already?
Where does one begin... summarizing a first month of life is, well, BIG 'cause so much has happened.
You entered this world with 3 major surgeries under your belt all within the next 24hrs (this was, in a word, insane): You were born via C-Section and had your umbilical cord cut, then a circumcision the very next morning and a lingual frenectomy mere hours after the circumcision was performed. Poor boy, its amazing how much you took all this in stride... then again, maybe its good you didn't know any better quite yet. But I can't help but think you must have hated the idea of the "outside world" after having endured all this right away after birth.
You don't have your 1 month check-up until 3 days from now (surprise! you'll have a series of shots awaiting you, I am terribly sorry for this) so I do not know what you weight as I post this but I can assure you - its a lot. You really are my chunky-monkey. You put on 10 ounces in just 7 days at your 2-week check-up so I can only imagine what you weigh now. You already have chubby folds in your thighs, a big bullfrog belly, a double chin and your face has filled-out. Trust me, this is all good. You are absolutely adorable even though I keep forgetting you are still just a little guy. I often times push you to stay awake... or to sleep... or to eat more... or to go for longer periods of time without being held... all because I keep forgetting you are still so very brand new.
You are strong. The day you were born they put you on my chest to go into the Recovery Room with me. I nursed you (briefly) and laid you on my chest. Everyone witnessed you pick up your head and move it from one side to the other. I don't mean you slide your face along my chest either... you picked up your head with full clearance! It was amazing. That never happens with newborns! In the last week dad and I have marveled at you lifting your head up, when we hold you in a burp position over our shoulder, for 5 minutes of more. Your head doesn't bobble either! You look like a prairie dog just looking at the world over our shoulders!
You're noisy! You grunt, squawk, chirp and make these "aroo! aroo!" sounds (although those ones are much more recent). You mostly make the grunts at night when you settle back down after nursing. At first it was quiet and brief but in more recent days you drive daddy and me crazy! You can't *ahem!*, *grunt, grunt*, *yawn*, *ahem! ahem!* for upwards of 15 minutes after being put down before you finally quiet. And even then, you'll make these sounds continually in your sleep. You must be a light sleeper at night because during the day - silent sleeper. This may actually be very true considering the night nurse at the hospital told me you tended to wake up at 3:30AM. You actually did have dad and me getting up with you around 2AM on more then one occasion when you first came home. Dad and I ended that within the first 3 weeks and we have not heard you babbling in your crib, awake, since then.
Along with your vocal sounds - you "fart like a trucker!" as your pediatrician said at your one week check-up. I've actually read somewhere that new babies do NOT like to expel gas... but oh, not you. You are my little 'Windy Winston'. You don't even both to rear up or crunch up your legs. You'll lay there in the dead of night and let out long... slow... brrrraaaappps That will end with en exclamation point, "toot! toot!" at the end. Sometimes I'll be nursing you while sitting up in our bed, your bottom closest to daddy's sleeping face and you'll just blast away. Its really quite awesome. I don't know if daddy finds it nearly as entertaining as I do.
While on gross topics, you still go poo quite frequently - mostly at night and ALWAYS in the midst of eating. I call you my baby bird in these instances since that's when baby birds end to go, too - while eating. We've only had one true "blow-out" with you since being home (which is good) but boy do you make a mess! Its a good thing diapers come up so high on you on both the back and front. Two words: Pumpkin soup. That is all... moving on...

You are still nursing. I did this for 3 months with Evie and had hoped to do it longer with you... but there have been some insatiable times with you that have left more more than just a wee bit frustrated. We have given you formula in small doses here and there (dad says 5 occasions) either during a feeding frenzy or because you dozed off in the middle of nursing. Which, brings me to another recent topic, you were all about sleeping 3-4hr stretches during the day recently but up almost every 2 hours at night. You had become the dreaded "snacker" and I couldn't wake you up to eat and achieve a full belly no matter what I tried. And believe you me, I tried! After pouring ice cold water on your neck one night during a 2AM feeding, I realized we had a big problem on our hands. You simply will not wake or eat... or comply with anything if you don't want to (stubborn little thing!). We seem to be on a better track in just the last 3 days... so here's hoping month 2 is even better! Your patterns are becoming a wee bit more predictable (thank goodness! Mommy likes a schedule or at least a hint of what to anticipate!). You now eat around 8:30/9PM and fall asleep around 10PM (which is hard on us after being up and going all day since 7AM), and then you eat at/around 1AM and again at/around 4AM before getting up for the day around 6:30/7AM. You are currently eating 8 times a day total... you dropped your 9th feeding somewhere just a few days ago. I don't miss it at all, wink.
You started smiling in just the last 2-3 days. No really, I swear. You smile at me when in a good mood (generally on a full tummy) and I see both dimples. You also love it when I move my face very slowly toward yours and then quickly kiss one cheek all over. The anticipation of which cheek I'll kiss makes you open your mouth in a half smile and I can tell you love it. I'm still not as popular as the ceiling fan... but I am quickly becoming a close second. I am finally moving up from just "food source" and I see you look across the room in my direction when I talk. I love it. Daddy saw you smile for the first time today... I keep telling him to run over and catch you in the act but you still aren't quite sure what a smile is... so it drops almost instantly into a furrowed brow after you offer a big grin. Dad always catches the after-smile look of bewilderment on your face but today you smiled for him... I could tell he was excited because he turned up the baby talk at that point (and he hasn't done that with you at all till just today, *wink*).
We've been going on power/stroller walks in the mornings for the 2 weeks or less. This spring is record heat (98˚ in late May!) so sometimes I skip it if we get up too late. I personally love the power walks (so good to get outside!) and you enjoy them if you remain awake. If you fall asleep (which happens every time so far) you get cranky with the pacifier falling out every minute. Our trips tend to end abruptly at that point.
What else? What else?
You love to be held - I mean love. You will fall asleep in a tight little ball... chest to chest just under my chin... slumped over... panting softly.
You furrow your brow in deep concentration... or just trying to understand what it is you are looking at. You aren't much of a body language expressive (maybe it just hasn't happened quite yet).
Your hair, initially light brown when born, is looking more and more red. Surprise! You are going to look just like your big sister and mommy... apologies in advance for being called a "ginger" by your father.
You make quick little chirping sounds while having quick bursts inhaling... just after pushing back with a fully belly. It always ends with one upturned corner of your mouth. The cutest open-mouth smile of all (so far)...

I'm anxious to see what month 2 brings. Hopefully we'll see more of you awake, experience more of your personality and start to understand you even more...

The Ullman's - An Evie Portrait

I asked Evie to draw a picture of her family... for Father's Day.
You would have thought I said, "If you don't eat this fist full of boiled cabbage, I'll leave you curbside in the rain!"
Evie pouted... stamped... dragged her toes over to her easel... whined and told me to "not look at [her]!"
And when she was done, she whined for my attention and offered a half-cocked smile.
Geez, Picasso. I knew art had drama, but c'mon. And just look at it - its great! Why the fuss?

Left to right: mom, dad, Evie and Schwally (with blue hair).

First Week of Summer Camp 2011 (LPCWP): Henry and Evie

Faux Pax

Later afternoon, while out at Cartwheels & Coffee with both kids to meet up with N and her three kiddos, I noticed something wet while holding Max. At worst I thought he peed on me and frankly, didn't care all that much... until I moved him aside to see that it was my *ahem* boob that was all wet.
Ah, geez, really?
I looked at N and must have turned either white or bright red as I tried to laugh it off but how could I be so stupid as to let this happen...
Me: "Whoops, well, I guess I'll have to do something about this {fumbling for a burp cloth}."
N's most appreciated rebound, "Ah, who cares. Just put a baby over it {I move Max to my wet side}, yeah, there you go. I can't see it."

The Fussy Evening Hours...

On Friday evening, we went to a neighbor's house for a "post-work cocktail hour." I got a little frantic with trying to herd the cats out of my house... Rob was making a drink, my mother was changing her outfit, I had to grab a cucumber salad I made, and Schwally had recently eaten but he also tends to nurse every 2 hours from 4PM to 10PM (and a feeding hour was quickly approaching). The event was 5:30-7:30PM and it was already 6:10PM. That, and Rob wanted to leave at 7PM to go play hockey.
I was getting tense.
Evie walked over with me & the baby... my mother and Rob not too far behind.
As soon as we got there, Schwally started yelping to eat so I breezed indoors to go nurse. I nursed on the one side and thought that would be enough for him to go on for 30 minutes (especially since we would be leaving in half an hour anyhow).
Nope, it wasn't. He fussed within 10 minutes and I ducked back inside to finish nursing. I made it back outside in time for Rob to leave and spent the next 5 minutes trying to round up Evie to head home. Schwally fussed a lot more and my mom skirted on out and back to my house.
The screaming had begun.
To make this long story short, Max screamed and writhed from 7:30PM until after 10PM.
We rocked, we walked, he held, we soothed, we "shhhh'd!", we put him in a pitch black room, we paced, we gave him a pacifier and even held it in place while we screamed around it, we swaddled and we tried a bottle, and finally, I even tried to nurse some more. Nothing worked.
He acted as if he had to burp... or was really upset at something... like maybe I had clipped the tip of his thumb while trimming his nails (yes, I did this when he was 1 week old, it was awful). Only thing was, this went on and on...

My mother held Max from 9-9:45PM before handing him off to me. I held him until 10PM and he settled in my arms... his tenseness finally going limp. I gingerly walked him into my room and laid him down... within seconds, "W-A-H-H-H!!!"
My mother walked in and offered to hold him so I could sleep. I'd be stupid to pass this offer up.

At 2AM I could feel the "urge" to nurse and popped awake. There was no baby in the room so I walked out to the fold-out sofa to see my mother (in the darkness) laying on her side with Max propped up on her shoulder & swaddled in her arms. She stared at me like a raccoon caught in a dark house at midnight.
I actually had to keep from giggling and asked, "Why in the hell are you still up? You never put him down? Have you been sitting in her... awake... all this time?!."
Response, "Yep. I was afraid he'd cry if I put him down."
Me, "Oh my God, mom."

I fed Max and laid him down - he was fine the rest of the night.

Fast forward to last night,... the following night (Saturday).
My dad arrived in town and we were watching TV (yes, at full volume because my parents are hard of hearing. They can't seem to hear what they are not watching while yelling at one another over the noise of the TV... *sigh*). It was 8:30PM and I had just finished nursing Max for the second-to-last time for the night. He ate at 6:30PM, 8:30PM and, typically, eats one last time around 10/10:30PM before staying down till around 1AM.
I was sitting in the living room because Max was wide awake after his 8:30 feeding. Now, this is new because he has always drifted off to sleep for the night after a 7:30/8:00PM feeding. I went into the living room to play with him since he was so awake. Moments into this decision, the writhing started. I thought, "Well, maybe he is tired after all... I'll give him a pacifier and hold him close till he falls asleep."
Nope.
The screaming around the pacifier began. I burped him on my shoulder... he liked being upright until he started fussing there, too. I bounced and rocked... I looked at my mother, "Its last night all over again."
"Oh no," she said.

Max fussed until 10PM. I suppose I can't complain too much since this time it was only for 1.5 hours verses the 3hrs from the night before, but I went ahead and researched colic anyway while my mother held him. Colic: How to Cope.

We were already doing everything the article suggested so I did relax a bit knowing that we were on the right track to helping Max. At the same time I thought, "Oh no, will we being doing this every night for the next 7-8 weeks?" (The article says Colic peaks at 6 weeks old and suddenly ends at 3 months old. May is now 3.5 weeks old... the age when Colic begins, incidentally).

At 10PM last night my mother handed Max to me and I pulled him into bed with me. He was swaddled and had a pacifier. He was tight but starting to relax... his eyes lolling about in his head. It was evident he was exhausted and maybe even a little frightened at whatever is ailing him. Thankfully this didn't last long and he soon drifted asleep. I turned off my TV and laid in the dark with him... at my side and in my arms.. until 10:30PM. I gently laid him down and snuck into bed with my fingers crossed... he stayed asleep (phew!).
I watched the clock thinking he'd wake up any minute expecting his 10:00/10:30PM feeding but I was greeted with continual silence. I drifted off myself.
At 2AM I awake to Max's sputters and grumbles that he does when he starts to arouse. I counted the hours on my fingers - 5.5hours w/o nursing! WOW! This is a great run albeit slightly painful for me (that's a long run for a nursing mom who's been on another, more frequent, schedule).

Today is Sunday and my folks leave.
I shared the details of the night before with Rob who had spent the last 2 nights out of the house and had not experienced this fussing firsthand.
I am hopeful this was just a phase or perhaps over-stimulation for such a small munchkin. But I'm also prepared for the possibilities that we may be entering hell. I'll post again and share which was this situation falls....

Weekend Photos

Max is 2.5 weeks old.

Morning playtime in the activity center.


Evie is testing how tight is too tight of a hand squeeze... li'l devil.


*yawn*


Burp!

Memorial Day Weekend Fun

We had D & C over with Duncan for an improvised hot dog/hamburger cook-out. Fortunately for us, D & C were willing to pick-up some of the many supplies we were missing to make this lunch happen... ah, such good people.
After lunch, some sprinkler fun. The dads also shot the kids with water blaster guns while they ran around the backyard like loonies. I think Evie's dad found this most stress relieving *ha!*
After the sprinkler, a quick change and time at the neighborhood elementary school playground.
All and all - a fun afternoon!

Double Trouble

Some friends of ours loaned us this stroller and I gotta say... its completely ridiculous. Did I even have to say that? Its rather obvious, no?
I was actually shocked Evie went along with this. I thought for sure she'd pitch a fit to get out or that, "Schwally has more room than me!" But, no. She went along with it all.
Thankfully Rob steered this behemoth or I'd probably split open from trying...
... its been a long & busy day today...

Max's First, Real Tub Bath

LPCWP - End of Year Program and Picnic

I couldn't attend due to Max being so little... so Rob attended and took lots of videos and photos for me to recapture the magic of it all. I am thrilled to say that Evie performed beautifully and actually did all the dances (a far cry from when she started pre-school)!

Evie performs the Chicken Dance flawlessly... polka lovers everywhere rejoice!






That school year is a wrap!

Holy milk production, Batman!

So, Max has been nursing exclusive on one boob at each feeding. This was OK by me for now but also making me slightly worried for when we are up to 4oz servings. Will I be walking around looking like a botched boob job? Hmmm, I talked to the Dr. about this yesterday and she encouraged me to get him back to switching sides if I could.
Boy, this is work.
Either Max will nurse for 5 minutes, I pop him off and he won't wake up at all to go to the other side...
OR
Max will nurse for 10 minutes on the one side and pop himself off never to wake up again for the other side.

Sheesh.

I nursed him a few hours ago on the left side and he stayed on for nearly 12 minutes. I actually felt relieved (for once!) on the one side. Two hours later and I'm feeling rather uncomfortable on the right side.
I decided to pump.
I know this is all too soon considering he is only 2 weeks (and lactation consultants say to wait 3 weeks) but I just had to see WHY this kid won't finish a meal anymore.

In 8 minutes I pumped 3oz from my right side. Holy. Crap! I actually could keep going but decided to stop so as not to encourage such a high production. That and... 3 oz!?. Whoa! He's only supposed to be taking in 2-3oz total at each feeding. No wonder I'm having such crazy issues.

Belly Button

"Hey! My baby brother's belly button scab fell off today!"


http://makes-3.blogspot.com/2007/07/belly-button.html

Two Week Old Check-Up

Two week old check-up, Max is actually 12 days old.

Birth weight: 8lbs 1 oz
Weight day before discharge: 7lbs 10oz
Weight one day after discharge (1 week check-up at 5 days old): 7lbs 12oz
Weight today (1 week later than last check-up at 12 days old): 8lbs 6oz!

Average weight gain is .5 to 1oz a day!
Max put on 10 oz in 7 days! Wow-whee!

Next check-up is in 2 weeks - the one month check-up.

Evie's First Field Day

Rob and I commented, when Holton Elementary held their field day just last week, that this was by far one of the most fun days of the entire school year. I think we were both enthusiastic for Evie to have her first field day. We asked her what they did but never got a straight answer... maybe she didn't quite get the same level of excitement out of it that we once did. Oh well, at least her competitive outfit looked fetching.
Her class was "red".

"Mommy, Do I Have School Today?"

First question Evie asks me after Max and I get up around 9:30AM (after having spent 5AM-6:40AM both up playing and nursing).
Me: "Um, no, Evie. Today is Saturday."
Evie: Cheering and falling back into my bed, "Yeah! I get to play with Schwally all day!"
Me: "Yes, yes, you can. I'm so happy you are excited to play with your brother!"
Evie: "Yeah! Um, mommy. I know. We could go have a pic-nic, go to the park and then watch a movie!"
Me: "That sounds like an awesome idea, Evie."

(Evie actually has a birthday party today so we may try to hatch her plan tomorrow).

After nursing Max this morning Evie asks, "Can I hold him? Put that pillow around me and I'll hold him, K?"

Max's First Tummy-Time

10 Days old.
No tears, no hissy-fits... even after 10 whole minutes. And he turns his head from side to side... multiple times (so its not just a fluke!).
Time to get this kid involved in sports.

Last night's feeding - Improvement?

Yesterday Max seemed satisfied after nursing on just one boob at each feeding. When it happened early in the day (morning-time) I thought maybe it was a fluke or he was distracted. He managed to sleep for 3.5hrs after it, too!
This nursing on just one side managed to happen at every feeding all through-out the day. Odd... but not concerning.
Last night at 6:30PM he ate and then again at 9:00PM... each on just one side. I was so nervous this meant he was fasting for his night-time cluster feeding. I mentally prepared for the worst. I crashed around 9:45PM and so did Rob. We were ready should the feeding frenzy begin... we got this.
I woke-up at 11PM and nursed on the opposite side. Changed a diaper... kid was OUT. I snuck back under the covers.
I woke-up at 2AM and nursed on the other side. Changed a diaper... again, kid is out (this is awesome... I'm liking this. Less work from me and we're all getting sleep!).
I woke-up at 4:30AM and nursed on the opposite side again... OK, Max is now awake. We get up at 5AM (ok, this kinda sucks but I'll take it over cluster-feeding any day). We'll play and then both sleep in a bit more while Evie and dad watch cartoons.

So what will today be like?

I did find this which makes me feel better:
...some lactation specialists are now recommending just nursing on one breast per feeding and switching breasts from one feed to the next. This allows the baby to get more of the hind-milk, which is fattier. (At the beginning of a feeding, the milk has less fat than at the end of the feeding.)
http://kidshealth.org/parent/pregnancy_newborn/breastfeed/breastfeed_often.html#

But... will I be lop-sided when he's up to 4 oz?!.
?Babies are so weird.

Cluster Feeding

More like Cluster F*ck.

Last night was cluster feeding Hell. I mean HELL.

It takes him 45 minutes to nurse and, of course, you gotta change 'em in between each side (well, I do, at least. This kid poops and pees a lot more lately!).

So, he ate at 7:30PM and was down just shy of 8:30PM. I did a few things around the house and was in bed by 8:45PM... asleep by 9PM. I had to go to bed this early since he had us up the night before. He was WIDE AWAKE at like 2AM... Rob ended up taking him to the other room to "play" with him so we were both exhausted last night.

At 9:30PM he wakes up crying. I was tired I was like, "Wha? Who was that? Where am I???" I picked him up and nursed till 10:15PM or so and put him back down. Rob came to bed around that time.

At 11:00PM he was up again! I thought, you have GOT to be kidding me! We just did this! I picked him up to nurse and Rob was no where to be found. I think Max's crying woke-up Evie cause she apparently was calling for me to go potty. Rob had to walk her sleepy self into the bathroom (he said he thought she was sleep walking since she went to go potty but stood at the sink pretending to wash her hands *giggle*, poor thing!).

We got back into bed around 11:45PM and I thought "This is it now." He started talking/coo'ing and moving. This kid was UP! UGH! We fought it off till Rob got up with him around 12:20AM. He brought him in the living room where he squawked like a parrot off/on again until 1AM. I finally went out there, too... I couldn't sleep listening to all that. I looked at Rob and told him I was just shy of busting out the Similac... this was crazy! I mean, it had been like 45minutes since the last feeding and he was acting hungry at 12:30AM. Rob put him off till 1AM with a pacifier... Max fought and fought... he was so fatigued... we all were..

I grabbed Max from Rob and headed back to our room where we nursed again until 1:45AM or so. He drifted in and out the whole time and never even finished on the one side. I thought, "OK, this is IT. No more! The wells are DRY!"
I put him down and he did the whole frantic rooting motion while fussing. Aw, HELL NO, kid! I about shoved the pacifier down his throat... I was so spent. I rubbed his back and burped him a few more times. I think I even got Rob involved at this point (its all a blur)... in any case... by 2:15AM he was silenced.

We all collapsed.

Fortunately, he only woke-up one more time at 4AM and then was up for the day at 7:30AM.
Ugh, I forgot about this part... the cluster frenzy... its the pits!

Oh! He's crying again, off to nurse!

Evie Questions/Comments Regarding Max

3rd Day Home with Max. He's 7 days old.

Evie races home from school to "pet Max's head" and runs to see when he poops or eats.
She likes to watch it all. Which, makes for interesting conversation too:

"Why is he on your boob? He drinks milk from your BOOB? Yuck! I don't want him on MY boob!"

"I wanna see his poop!"

"Ew, he has poop on his belly (pointing to his umbilical cord)."

One Week Old Today!

Phew, not a long time and yet it feels like months have passed since I was in the hospital.
No routine yet but last night was great. We were in bed by 9:40PM and woke-up about 3 times before getting up at 7:30AM for our morning feeding. Not bad/doable. I'm just glad we had no weird cluster feedings or "party in our bassinet!" time last night like the first 2 nights at home.

First Sponge Bath

7 Days old.
First sponge bath... went pretty well!

Evie watches her baby brother's first bath and finds most of daddy's struggles funny.


Baby comb-over.

1st Full Day Home: Day 5 "Of Life"

Highlights:

* Last night we were home by 6PM due to an extreme late check-out. The OB checked on me late (by 2PM). But it was the pediatrician that was the real hold-up. She called the wrong back-up or forget entirely (I forget the excuse) and some strange old dude 2 weeks shy of retirement came at 5PM. Ugh. I wish I had more time to expand on what a jerk this guy was...

* Davis dropped off Evie by 6PM. We were almost completely settled after a 30 minute flurry around the house... unpacking, setting up the pack-n-play in our room, setting up a temporary diaper station in our bathroom, getting my nursing & poop/pee chart set-up to fill-out all night, etc.
When Evie arrived, she marched right over to Schwally and rubbed his head. I breathed a sigh of relief.

* Rob looked up every local pharmacy for my meds... all closed at 6PM on a Sunday - great. He found a Walgreens we never attend and packed up Evie to hit the road for both my meds and the grocery store. Evie wasn't happy about it (she wanted to stay with me) but we managed to get her into the car. They were gone 6:30-7:30PM. I nursed at this time and was later able to "hang" with Evie during a bedtime show. Rob put her down by 8:15PM. I was in bed by 8:20PM.... phew!

* Rob picked-up the boy to nuzzle him after changing his diaper and putting on a super cute snap-up footie-jammie outfit. This started off a chain reaction that involved Max having a complete, inconsolable breakdown. I finally got up out of bed realizing Rob was in way over his head. He was in Max's room with the door closed trying his damnedest but... I had to jump in.
I ended up nursing again at 9:00PM. We talked about how I'd get up for the next feeding at 12AM. I finish up and go back to bed at 9:30PM.
Rob holds Max and he goes off again like a siren shortly after I lay my head down. I wake-up and nurse AGAIN at 10PM. I nurse till 10:30PM and we talk about how Rob should crash, too... and I'd get up again at 1AM.
We both crawl into bed... and now its 11PM. At 11:20PM, Max sounds his siren AGAIN! What is this? Rob picks him up and tries his best to sooth him to no avail. I take deep breathes and get up to nurse... AGAIN. What else can one do? Max barely stays on for very long and is really just pacifying... so I put him back down. We change him to realize he needed changing and that the footie-jammies Rob chose were NOT the best choice for nighttime. Too many damned snaps for dim light and fumbling fingers.
I take Max out of this tight velcro-wrap number we tried to put him in (a swaddler)... and wrap him up the good 'ole fashioned way - in a receiving blanket. I put him on his side and out he goes....

* I wake-up at 2:30AM (3hrs later) and get set-up for Max to wake. He doesn't. I question waking him. I don't. I close my eyes.
I wake-up again at 3:30AM... I pick-up Max and he stirs pretty quickly. The 4 hour break in between nursing was great!
I change him and put him back down... I let Rob sleep. He's been a busy, amazing dad the last few days, too.

* I wake-up at 7AM and slowly rub Rob's back so he can wake-up gently. I warn him that Evie, the tornado, will be in here any minute and I'd rather be the one to wake him up softly... I think he appreciates this.
I grab Max to feed him and boom! Here's Evie! :-)
Evie and Rob share breakfast while Max & I do, too.

* I change Max after his morning feeding to find a poo that must have happened at some point between the most recent feeding and now. I wipe off his butt and... (you might want to censor the kids at this part), he projectile poopies on me. As soon as the wipe hit his butt it was like poking at someone's cheeks full of water... out it squirts all over me, the receiving blanket, his jammies, the diaper... even our comforter on the bed falls victim. The bed is maybe 2 feet from the pack-n-play, such distance! Sheesh! I yell, "Uh, Rob? I need a little help here please!" (I had only walked over with 1 wipe in hand... Rob comes over with just 1 more wipe in hand. I laugh at him). Squirt! He poos AGAIN and now its a real mess! Then, and I am NOT LYING, he fountain pees up over his own shoulder and all over the place. Everything's soaked.
Thankfully we both found all this completely entertaining and laughed at knowing he probably won't be going again for awhile.
Rob looks at me and says, "Well, everything works!"

* Evie gets off to school and I nurse again around 9AM so that I can go back to bed. I nap for 45 minutes. Sadly, I also have to get up by 11AM to take Max to his first pediatrician visit at 1:30PM. Such. Crap. I wanted this first full day to myself and in this bed. Rob wakes me and I shower & do my make-up in record time... its funny how quickly a woman can do things when she really has to. I also eat half my Subway sandwich from yesterday and get a few things organized before the next nursing.
I pick-up Max by 12PM and we nurse. We pick out a cute doggie outfit, dress him up, fold laundry and grab our things to head out the door at 1PM.

* Doctor stats: He now weighs 7lbs 12oz. This is great considering he was 7lbs 10oz just 2 days ago... which is ALSO good cause he weighed 8lbs 1oz at birth. He didn't drop too much weight and is already gaining - all good news! He's a champ!
No shots and we must return in 1 more week.
Max fusses a little but is easily comforted by dad at the doctor's office - warms my heart. We decide to throw him in the car and nurse at home. Max looks out the window on the ride home and is content. This is all so different from when we had Evie... I recall her being less "go-with-the-flow" then what this little guy has demonstrated so far.
We are home by 2:30PM.
I feed Max and we change an explosive diaper... and I get pee'd on again.
I set up everything for dinner and organize just a few things.
I get into bed by 3:30PM for a nap and am up by 4:45PM when Rob needs to go pick-up Evie from school.
I feed Max quick before Evie gets home..

* Evie comes home from school wanting to see Max and turns to me, unprompted, "Mommy, I love him so much. And I love YOU!" I fight back tears... I'm doing cartwheels internally.
I put Max in his bouncy seat (Evie helps me move it, buckle him in and rubs his head).
Evie and I play a few rounds of "Go Fish!" while Rob makes dinner.
Fast forward through a great dinner (no arguments and Evie ate everything! We prepared a meal all by ourselves with a newbie in the house! What an amazing successful day this is!).
Rob plays with Evie while I clean-up the kitchen.
Rob bathes Evie while I feed Max.
Evie pulls up next to me on the couch for a show while Rob naps in a chair.

* I let Rob continue to nap and put Max back in his bouncey seat. I brush Evie's teeth and read her two books... two activities I have not down in many days. She actually wanted Rob (which makes me feel good that she likes daddy doing these activities with her) but doesn't put up too much of a fight when I tell her it will be me putting her to sleep while daddy rests.
Two books later, a kiss good-night and out go the lights.

So where am I now? I ate some amazing chocolate desert my mom made for me while she & my dad were here watching Evie. I changed into my jammies, washed off my face and decided to post this blog while I had the free time...
Next I'm going to wake-up Max for a feeding by 9:30PM and go straight to bed.
I remember bedtime being such a downer when we had Evie. Its hard going to sleep so early and to change your life so much to accommodate this small baby who wakes you up from a deep slumber all night. I must admit, so far, I do not hold it against him like I did with Evie ... but it is also only 5 days in. Maybe that resentment builds over time... I hope not. Things are moving at such a smooth pace that I am crossing my fingers on both hands that this continues like this. Crossing them... REAL TIGHTLY, in fact.

Check-Out Day

Well, today's check-out day.
Rob and Evie left last night around 8PM (her bedtime) and she was in bed by 8:30PM. Sad to report she was also up just after 6AM... but Rob says she did crash again in bed with him... so they should be fairly rested (that makes two of us... well, including Max... three of us).

The night nurse, Robyn - I have had her the last 2 nights in a row - informs me that Max's "awake hour" has been 3:30AM. She added a "good luck!" to that news. Whoo-boy. First thing first today... I need to ask the pediatrician how to resolve this. I want to see him awake and playful... but I also don't want to encourage this hour. Sheesh.

Amy, a daytime nurse/helper of sorts, informs me that I am in the "Antepartum" wing of the hospital. I actually knew this. It's posted on the bulletin board facing my bed but I had no idea what it meant. Turns out that this is the wing where women stay on bed-rest before baby or where they come if baby is in the NICU (emergencies, premies and something is wrong with the baby). I suddenly felt like instant shit at this news realizing that all I have is stress of the unknown ahead of me (like will I be able to manage a baby and a pre-schooler this summer)... basically just life-balancing issues. The women around me faced much more stressful lives just ahead. This news also made me feel better realizing I was damned lucky to have a very healthy baby. Having a kid really straightens out priorities in a way you can't imagine until after your baby is born. Yes, the responsibility increases tenfold but God... how damned lucky you are to be able to have those responsibilities.

I said good-bye to Robyn around 5:45AM last night after a feeding. She gave me a hug. She was great. Sarcastic, dry, Southern-accent and very open about telling you like it is. I needed all of that. She kept telling me how great a baby Max was and that he was so very even tempered. She mentioned this to me many times... so I think there must be alot of truth to it and not just that she's telling me what I want to hear.

Breakfast was delivered at 7:20AM. They woke me up after my 1 hr & 15 minute snooze. Ugh.

I nursed again at 8:15AM and then sent Max away to see the pediatrician and to shower. The pediatrician never showed so I went ahead and put on my make-up. Here it is now 10:45AM and still no pediatrician. I asked for Max back. Its amazing how lonely you are after you are no longer pregnant. I'm looking at him squirm in his clear bin... watching his little chest go up and down. I'm half tempted to wake him for my own selfishness and half tempted to leave him so as "not to spoil him". Gow I hate this inexact science.

The OB from my practice could be around any half hour to check on me and then discharge me.
Rob is bringing Evie over to Duncan's house to play while we get ourselves out of here and situated. He'll be bringing lunch and it may be the last time we have a conversation... ever. Strangely enough, this hospital visit has been like a vacation filled with little-to-no-chatter, no arguments, no tantrums and a bed that sits me up & lays me down. That's really where the vacation analogy ends... but it has been very peaceful here (interruptions and all).

I'm ready to try navigating my stationary bed again. I'm even more anxious for an uninterrupted afternoon nap.
My incision still burns like hell but I'm OK with this. Its ether getting better or I can tolerate it more... who knows.
I started cutting out the percocet around 11PM last night... I don't want Max to be a zonked out baby. So far, its manageable. I can't shake this feeling that it won't be once I get home to the demands of Evie... but I must stop and shake off these feelings. Starting off today thinking like this is NOT helpful.

I've already called/spoken to Rob 3 times since getting up this AM. Again, so lonely. Just the thought of talking to him and seeing him again soon makes my eyes well up with tears... ugh, HORMONES (*shaking fist at the heavens*).

Oh! Did I hear a peep? I better go pick him up. I feel like testing out that "spoiling the baby" theory. I need a hug right now.

Last Night in the "Hostipal" (as Evie says it)

I have many things to go back and post/talk about ... whenever THAT freetime presents itself.
In the meanwhile, I had to post on tonight.
My final night in the hospital.
Rob and Evie came over at 6:30PM just after nursing... which was great timing so I could focus all my time on Evie while Rob held Max.
They just left at 8PM.
I find myself looking out the window... a stormy, rainy night and start crying.
I've been overjoyed, elated, and absolutely in love these last 4 days and now The Blues are kicking in.
The Blues are the absolute pits.
I just want to curl up in a ball and cry... which, I did do a little bit with the birth of Evie after getting home.
But today, I realized just how much work lies ahead and how absolutely scared I am.
I hope I can do this.
I hope WE can do this.
I asked Rob to be my rock the next few days 'cause I warned him this would happen. I'm prepared. I'm ultimately OK.
This isn't an outcry. Its seriously just The Blues brought on by stress of the unknown. God how post-pregnancy makes a woman go hormonally crazy afterward!

I'm looking forward to the next sunny day.
Max is whimpering. Time to nurse. This is, thankfully, the best medicine ...'cause he is an absolute charm to nurse. We are already in synch. I hope he stays this easy-going once we get back home cause he really is an amazing baby boy.

*sigh*, we can do this...

Birth Day

I want to get this all down before I forget... but I also have a whole new set of responsibilities so this post might be a little messy or scattered...

My C-Section was scheduled for 10AM, which means, be at the hospital at 8AM.
I had a 9AM (1 hr) appt the morning before which included paperwork and blood work so the day of the surgery included a lot less activity than what we had last time.

8AM - Rob drops me off and I waddle on up to the 3rd floor (yes, I used an elevator, *wink*).
I'm greeted by Mariana in the LD hallway after gaining access through the security doors. She's a late 40's woman who's pretty open, accommodating and a little sweaty. She leads me to my pre-op room and informs me it will also be my post-op/recovery room (which, it later turns out they switched rooms on me and I will end up in a different post-op room).
I am handed a gown (no nurse fronts but snap-sleeves instead). This gown is a marked improvement over the one I was given last time I was here with Evie. The nurse handed me a gown in which she ripped off duct-tape keeping the boob flaps closed (the tape caused the front to be rough in texture, not to mention that is was also unappealing in every way).
I pee, strip and get dressed... well, considering the gown had no ties at all... I am draped.
I waddle back to the bed and am given an IV on the side of my left wrist (last time was on top of my hand). Ick, I hate IV's.
We complete some paperwork and get the belts on me and baby... I watch the computer monitor as it displays each contraction I am having. Funny, I feel absolutely nothing. I later feel a few sharp pains and watch them register but overall... nothing. I begin to question if I should have been a stronger person and even attempted a V-Bac after she tells me I am having contractions every 2-6 minutes. She later adds that I must have a high pain tolerance.
Oh well, no going back now.
Mariana concludes, "It looks like today's the day!" So, either labor I would have chosen... his birthday was probably always meant to be today. This makes me feel good.

We are left in this pre-op room for 45 minutes while we wait for my surgery time. Last time was a rush-rush of epidurals, catheters, IV's, blood work, belts and paperwork. I remember the IV drip being cranked up to full drip cause we were running behind. This time.... lights are dimmed and we watch Sports Center. I let Rob make me laugh one last time before I know it'll be remarkably painful post-op. Its really a great time and time passes by surprisingly fast.

9:45AM and Jake comes in. I had met him the day before and he told me that he's "the one who pushes the baby out." I later find out he's also the one who helps hold me steady while get a spinal block, preps the area, and even sutures me up afterward. He sold himself short. He performs most of the work!

Jake and Mariana discuss when I am to start heading down. I start getting nervous. I have been having thoughts of never seeing this baby... of dying in surgery... of something going horribly wrong with me. I try to shake these thoughts free while thinking of the dream I awoke to just this morning... both of my grandmothers were standing in the kitchen wishing me luck and telling me they couldn't wait to meet the baby. They are, in reality, both deceased (my dad's mom passed after I showed her my first sonogram of Evie and my mom's mom passed just a year ago... Evie got to tell her "I love you great-grandma" just hours before she died). Both grandmas looked younger than when I had last seen them... vibrant and happy. I popped awake from this dream. I never have dreams like this. I'm also NOT the religious-type to say "angels were watching over me"... but... I knew they were and it was both intimidating and wonderful.

Its creeping closer to 10AM and I am told to start walking to the OR. Rob will stay behind and put on his paper gown... I will walk in to receive my spinal block, I kiss him good-bye. Wow, this is really happening.

I walk into the OR. Last time I was wheeled in and they shifted me from one table to the other. They started the procedure instantly and I never got my bearings on the room at all.
This time, Jake has a live Sade album playing jazz while I am told to hop my bare ass up on the operating table. I sit perpendicular on the skinny table and lean forward. Jake holds my arms very tight (steady) and I feel my back get wiped with antiseptic and then ...the needle. No where near as thick as an epidural needle (which is also taped to your entire back and remains in your back the whole time), this needle goes in and floods your back with a warm fluid sensation. I am reminded of Natalie describing this to me... both comforting to know what's going on but also scary. She had also told me details about how fast it worked and how they tilt the table to control where it flows in your body...
I feel that my left side goes numb faster then the right and I mention this while thinking of Natalie's story... the table tilts and my right leg goes dead. I feel everything just below my boobs go totally dead. Now my arms are cool and tingling and I begin panic thinking my heart's going to go next. I mentioned this and the anesthesiologist says its all normal. Jake excitedly holds up calipers telling me he's been pinching the hell out of my skin without me sensing it at all... great. Funny man.
The anesthesiologist wipes my nose with an alcohol soaked gauze pad to show me how I can sense cold there... then on my arm... and then on my stomach (where I feel nothing). I tell him I am not concerned about hot and cold but rather the slicing open sensation.

The blue curtain goes up and they begin. I look up at the OR lights and can see a warped fly-lens image of my belly going red, I turn away sickened. They bring in Rob and he takes my hand. Moments later... I hear the doctor asking Jake to push down harder (this kid has a big head) and out he comes. I hear a suction and then... "WAH!"
Tears stream out of my eyes and the anesthesiologist dabs my eyes so I can see them hold up a slimy bouncing baby boy. I can't believe its been 4 years since I did this last. Its all so familiar once again.

Rob walks over as they clean him up. I listening to the gurgling sounds as they finish up with me.
I think overall, we were in the OR for 45minutes. It felt like 5minutes.

A few photos later and they wheel baby out in his incubator/bassinet. Rob leaves and goes to the post-op room with Max while they clean up my incision, slid me to a table with wheels and I out I go.

The post-op room is much bigger (and nicer than the per-op room!). It has a warming station and small sink.
Max is weighed and measured.
This time, I get to be there for all of this! Last time they let me nurse Evie but then whisked her away for nearly 4 hrs while they cleaned her up. Now everything is so much more soothing and coordinated. I get to nurse Max soon after he is sink bathed off to my right (he settles down when they massage his head with shampoo and a light brush). Its a lot less cumbersome this time and I feel much more in control. They leave Max with us in this room for almost 2+ hours. My parents leave to go pick-up Evie from school while Rob and I enjoy Ginger Ale and raspberry sorbet cups. It was... in a word... fantastic.

By early afternoon we are pushed on over to our final destination, room 319 in the Antepartum wing.
I must admit, I was disappointed when I saw this room. It was on our hospital tour back when we were pregnant with Evie. This is where the spill-over patents go. The rooms are a lot more out-of-date and the bed for dad is this really old flip-out recliner (the Postpartum Ward features a window seat that is the bed for dad... we were there with Evie).
The nurse that leads us into this room really doesn't care what we think and is rather dismissive when we ask why we are put over here if there is rom over in Postpartum.
On reflection, this ward is SO MUCH BETTER. The care over here has been class-act. I have one nurse for complete 12hr shift and I've gotten to know them all on a very personal basis. I am so glad we were over here (and a a little bit more thankful after I find out this is the area normally reserved for bed-rest patients and people with preemies).

The afternoon is filled with another visit by my parents... this time with big sister Evie. Evie marched on in boldly and headed straight for me. She played up the camera for pictures as the new big sister and after my be 7 full minutes, she was rather over it all. Disheartening, yes. Typical for a kid her age, most likely.

I'm allowed to eat dinner... which is great because I am hungry. Turkey with gravy, the driest stuffing on earth (it remains untouched on my plate when they take the tray), green beans, milk, juice, and honestly, a great tasting cheescake that I share with Rob.

Sensation begins to return to my toes and legs by late afternoon. I have to stay in bed with this inflating/deflating leg balloons that they make patients wear now. I also have to leave them on for a full 24 hrs! I listen to the buzz of the machine inflating and deflating every 5 minutes (and even all through the night). It gets old... quickly.

My night nurse takes over by 8PM. I'm kept on the IV drip for more fluids and pain relievers (some form of morphine) throughout the day but am removed with just the IV left in my hand that night. Sometime in the late evening my night nurse Janet removes the catheter and I get to walk/pee for the first time. It goes pretty well. I think the heavy drugs helped greatly.
I have some trepidation and am overtly cautious but... Janet, my night nurse the first two nights, is really great and understanding. She waits outside the bathroom door while I tinkle... pause... tinkle... pause... tinkle... will this pattern end? Its obvious I'm hesitant to "let loose" given my recent incision and she waits patiently.
I clean-up and get some new "seemless panties" (whoo-boy, if you've had a kid you know what I am talking about. Thankfully, this year's model is a vast improvement over the set from 4 years ago. They aren't mesh so your maxi-pad doesn't stick to your pants! Score! I am already scheming how I will leave this place with an extra 4-5 pair since I wore them for so long after having Evie...)

I hobble back to bed and my incision burns. Its amazing, I remember this being painful with Evie but this incision will continue to burn for much longer than it did with Evie. I will also leave this hospital looking much more pregnant than I did with Evie. I'm find this both slightly disappointing/ disheartening and also not troublesome feeling much more secure with my body & the relationship with my husband... I'm secure in knowing I look good for where I am at this point in the game and my husband is so encouraging about my body who could anyone feel deflated for looking so "unflattering" after having a baby?

The night continues with every 3 hour nursings. They are rough (painful) and Max has a tight suck. I wince with each feeding but am also confident that this is going better than it was with Evie.

By 7:30AM I am up with "breakfast!" being served. Wet scrambled eggs, 2 limp strips of bacon, an english muffin... untoasted, a generic container of corn flakes (I won't touch this), orange juice in a pull-top cup and coffee. I dive bomb on the coffee but end up inhaling basically everything on the plate. Hospital food is fantastic when you are nursing and hungry. ;-)

Conclusion:
So... there's 3 more nights ahead (yes, I ended up staying all 4 days... I should be covered but we'll see if I get a bill from the insurance company. The doctors and nurses were all supportive of my desire to stay on and to be totally honest... I was in more pin this time around but probably could have sucked it up and gone home on day 3).
I'll have to just remember some of the hospital stay in my memory cause now that I am home and writing this all after-the-fact... I now am short on time! Besides, this was just the birth story and there will be many more stories to be told in the days... weeks... months ahead. What an exciting time and another exciting adventure...