Check-Out Day

Well, today's check-out day.
Rob and Evie left last night around 8PM (her bedtime) and she was in bed by 8:30PM. Sad to report she was also up just after 6AM... but Rob says she did crash again in bed with him... so they should be fairly rested (that makes two of us... well, including Max... three of us).

The night nurse, Robyn - I have had her the last 2 nights in a row - informs me that Max's "awake hour" has been 3:30AM. She added a "good luck!" to that news. Whoo-boy. First thing first today... I need to ask the pediatrician how to resolve this. I want to see him awake and playful... but I also don't want to encourage this hour. Sheesh.

Amy, a daytime nurse/helper of sorts, informs me that I am in the "Antepartum" wing of the hospital. I actually knew this. It's posted on the bulletin board facing my bed but I had no idea what it meant. Turns out that this is the wing where women stay on bed-rest before baby or where they come if baby is in the NICU (emergencies, premies and something is wrong with the baby). I suddenly felt like instant shit at this news realizing that all I have is stress of the unknown ahead of me (like will I be able to manage a baby and a pre-schooler this summer)... basically just life-balancing issues. The women around me faced much more stressful lives just ahead. This news also made me feel better realizing I was damned lucky to have a very healthy baby. Having a kid really straightens out priorities in a way you can't imagine until after your baby is born. Yes, the responsibility increases tenfold but God... how damned lucky you are to be able to have those responsibilities.

I said good-bye to Robyn around 5:45AM last night after a feeding. She gave me a hug. She was great. Sarcastic, dry, Southern-accent and very open about telling you like it is. I needed all of that. She kept telling me how great a baby Max was and that he was so very even tempered. She mentioned this to me many times... so I think there must be alot of truth to it and not just that she's telling me what I want to hear.

Breakfast was delivered at 7:20AM. They woke me up after my 1 hr & 15 minute snooze. Ugh.

I nursed again at 8:15AM and then sent Max away to see the pediatrician and to shower. The pediatrician never showed so I went ahead and put on my make-up. Here it is now 10:45AM and still no pediatrician. I asked for Max back. Its amazing how lonely you are after you are no longer pregnant. I'm looking at him squirm in his clear bin... watching his little chest go up and down. I'm half tempted to wake him for my own selfishness and half tempted to leave him so as "not to spoil him". Gow I hate this inexact science.

The OB from my practice could be around any half hour to check on me and then discharge me.
Rob is bringing Evie over to Duncan's house to play while we get ourselves out of here and situated. He'll be bringing lunch and it may be the last time we have a conversation... ever. Strangely enough, this hospital visit has been like a vacation filled with little-to-no-chatter, no arguments, no tantrums and a bed that sits me up & lays me down. That's really where the vacation analogy ends... but it has been very peaceful here (interruptions and all).

I'm ready to try navigating my stationary bed again. I'm even more anxious for an uninterrupted afternoon nap.
My incision still burns like hell but I'm OK with this. Its ether getting better or I can tolerate it more... who knows.
I started cutting out the percocet around 11PM last night... I don't want Max to be a zonked out baby. So far, its manageable. I can't shake this feeling that it won't be once I get home to the demands of Evie... but I must stop and shake off these feelings. Starting off today thinking like this is NOT helpful.

I've already called/spoken to Rob 3 times since getting up this AM. Again, so lonely. Just the thought of talking to him and seeing him again soon makes my eyes well up with tears... ugh, HORMONES (*shaking fist at the heavens*).

Oh! Did I hear a peep? I better go pick him up. I feel like testing out that "spoiling the baby" theory. I need a hug right now.