T had her baby yesterday. A bouncing baby boy just over 8lbs. And man, is he ever cute to stare at and hold! I can see now how parents forget to eat, shower and communicate with the outside world. I just wanted to stare at him like a hummingbird with a mirrored gazing ball. If he's sleeping, you stare at his soft neck going up and down with his whistling breathes. If he jolts, you want to wrap him up tight and pat him. If he yawns, you yawn back while whispering goofy things like, "awww!"
Damned, I want one... and at the same time... I am NOT AT ALL READY!
What the heck was I thinking?!.
I loved holding him. It was so magical and awe-inspiring. Its like going for a ride in your friend's new expensive car and you think, "What a f%*king amazing ride this is. And that new car smell - I love it! I would love to have this. But man, they are screwed with making payments now. Dumb-asses! Let them have their fancy car, we'll just make them drive all the time so we can enjoy it without the payments & stress of getting a ding. Suckers!"
I'm..... a baby sucker! I feel for it! Ack! Once you roll that baby out of the hospital, you lose a couple thousand dollars and commited yourself to months & months of payments! *gulp*
Its not even the money part that bothers me... its the work! Phew! I don't know the first thing about a newborn. I know they eat all the time and sleep all the time and yet somehow YOU never sleep or eat during any of that time.
I'm going to drop ours. Or forget to feed it. Or cry along with it. Or forget to change it and it will get some horribly painful diaper rash. Or I'll leave it somewhere... like in the grocery cart while I'm down 4 aisles picking out something. Or I'll put it to sleep all wrong. Oh my Gawd! We are HAVING A HUMAN! How the hell can this type of behavior (creating human life) NOT be monitored by someone? How can just anyone do such a hugely responsible task as making and raising a baby?!.
1 comment:
Silly, you won't forget any of those things. She won't let you! Babies are really good at getting their mom's and dad's attention. It is a lot of work, but you know that, so you're ahead of a lot of folks on the new-parent front.
Post a Comment