Home from Preschool - Energized!

I decided to telework today since my uncless passed away yesterday and, frankly, my manager said no words to me about my loss. Eff it. I'll work where I'm appreciated. Home it is!

Evie's preschool is 8:45AM - noon everyday. BUT, we signed her up to stay until 5PM on both Mondays and Wednesdays. On Tuesdays and Thursdays she can stay for "lunch buddies" from 12PM - 1PM for only $5. On Fridays, she can stay any additional hours until 5PM for only $5 each hour. Got all that?

Today is Friday. Off she went at 8:40AM. Rob decided to pick her up at 2PM (I still have 3 hrs left in my work day) and I was to go to the coffee shop. Listening to this kid talk is so worth my time.... I can't bear to leave util after 3PM.

Evie aims a red guitar at dad... like a pointed gun... and says, "Put a show for me."
What the?
Me: "Evie, What are you even saying?"
She laughs hysterically and completes at least 2 full laps around the house.
Evie: "Here you go, mommy," she takes off her shoes and socks.
Me: "Great, will you put them in your closet Evie?"
Evie: "No, I put them by the door. I need food for my mouth."
Dad: "Are you hungry?"
Evie: "Yeah, I need a snack. Get me goldfish please!" (she starts piling toys from her toy bin onto the couch while talking).
Dad: "Evie, what are you doing? Put your toys in the box."
Evie: "No, Just a few toys. OK? I move just a few toys on the couch." (as if this makes sense).
Dad: "And you can put them away then..."
Evie: "No. No I can not."

This continues for quite awhile. Additional highlights include, "Shhh, mommy! I'm trying to watch me show!" and "Mommy, turn off the music, I can't hear my show." and "Mommy (hands in a pleading gesture... which, based on the succeeding question is the wrong gesture all together), "Why you took my goldfish away?"

I find everything this kid says hilarious since its the sass of a 13-yr-old coupled with the partial grasp of the English language like that of a recent immigrant.