Pacifier Free*

We started Evie on pacifiers after 1 week of age. I purchased a few "Soothies," hearing they were the best. At first they fell out (as N called them, "Grenade Pins") and we'd wake-up through-out the night sticking them back in. We started throwing a few in her crib at/around 6 months of age hoping she'd find one at night and replace it herself. Eventually the whole operation smoothed out and it was a well oiled machine. We'd give her a "Pap" at bedtime and naptime & then see her when she woke up.
We should have ended the pacifier at one year of age along with the bottle.
Shortly after Evie was a year and a half old, the pacifier became more than a night-time friend. It became a comfort when hurt, lonely, scared, in new surroundings, without her parents and an all-around side-kick. It was like watching a smoker become addicted to nicotine. We knew she looked ridiculously over-age as we pushed her around in a stroller at a summertime event (She was 22 months old) and I have to admit, I was slightly embarrassed.
On Evie's 2nd year visit to the Pediatrician, I was told to "ditch the binky." The Dr. immediately laughed having caught a glimpse of Evie's evil glare to her words. "She just sneered at me! See! She knows what I said!"
And, the doctor was right. Evie knew. I knew.
Shortly after leaving the doctor's office, I returned a set of recently purchased pacifiers and buckled down for the slow ween.
Evie had been chewing her pacifiers to shreds the last few months and had also managed to loose a few along the way. We must have had about 4 when the doctor said it was time to cut her off.
The numbers diminished and we held onto a pacifier... until 2 nights ago. It was down to just this one.
Evie kept pulling her pacifer out through clenched teeth last weekend resulting in my throwing away the second-to-last shredded friend. I warned her, at the top of this week, to not do that to her last one because after it, that.. was.. IT.
Rob put Evie down for bedtime Monday night. He came out of the room with her wailing in his wake, "She chewed a hole in it," as he held up the final Pap. I told him it was the last one and I cut off the tip with scissors. I had read somewhere about cutting pacifiers down little by little until there was nothing left for the kid to hold onto... figured now was a good a time as any to try this.
We gave Evie the cut pacifier.
"Broken?!." she responded.
"Yes, you chewed it and we told you not to... that was your last Pap!"
"No! Pap.... mumble... PAP!"
The cries and lamenting for a pap continue for quite awhile but she eventually settled in. She rejected the broken Pap and settled on the comfort of her favorite blankie.
I am happy to say that first night was worse for us than her... its hard to take away something that, to a child, seems completely harmless. It sucks having to take away a piece of plastic because it could cause long-term dental problems should she not ween herself after a reasonable amount of time. What a shit-task having to discipline a behavior that might have exhausted itself had we not intervened.
But, Evie awoke this morning at 6AM (only an hour earlier than normal... a very hard task for mom & dad to have to deal with but pretty good given she slept all night long with no problems) asking for her pap. I reminded her it was broken and she flailed a bit until we got up at 6:45AM.
Rob put Evie down for a nap telling her how she was a big girl now and how proud her was of her not needing a pap. I'm not sure how much she believed him but she did eventually drift off for a 2 hour nap. A nap that, Rob tells me, was full of smiles after it ended.
Tonight I put Evie down for her 2nd pap-free night and she did seem really scared/nervous. She cried a little, seriously less fussing than most nights where she plays games to stay up just a wee bit longer. I checked on her after a few terrified, "Mom-my's!" and I kissed her all over telling her how proud I was that she was such a big girl. I am always here if she needs me and she is so brave. I left the room.
Silence.



*Evie lovingly calls them her "Pap."