4 Weeks Old

4 weeks. 1 month. How do you count these things? Weeks and months never match up (40 weeks pregnant = 10 months... not 9, people).
So, Evie is 4 weeks today and will, officially, be 1 month on August 2nd (Thursday).
But let's celebrate this milestone, whatever it may be.
Evie has changed in just 4 weeks time.
We have no problems latching on, or eating, for that matter. In fact, we stay awake while eating (which, is fantastic that I don't have to keep prodding her to finish up) and she wraps things up in 10 minutes on each side. We do still spit-up but the medicine is helping cut down on the volume of spit-up. Plus, we are getting used to having to strip out of our clothes and get a fresh shirt before the next feeding.
Evie opens her eyes more & for longer periods of time and has, very recently, began to follow things. She'll STARE at the ceiling fan with a bit of recognition at its motion. She watches your hand move across her field of vision and will sometimes smile at the delight of it. No longer cross-eyed or wall-eyed, we are seeing the world with stronger eyes.
Evie can turn her head from side to side while laying on her stomach. She may whine/squeal while she flips her head to the sound of your voice... but she will do it. This 5 minute feat pretty much wraps up tummy-time. We are generally burnt out at this point.
Evie has also gotten more demanding on our time. No longer happy "left for dead" in her swing... she wants to be held and wants you to MOVE AROUND THE HOUSE while you are holding her. This, can get trying at times (like when I have to eat or pee or shower).
Evie's slipping in some semblance of a routine. I know "about when" she'll be awake and when she'll be sleeping the most. She tends to wake up like clockwork every 3.5 hours at night... and will let us put a pacifier in her mouth to buy just 10 more minutes of sleep (like a snooze button, really).
In the early morning (after a 5AM or 6AM feeding) we tend to pull her into bed with us to keep her from springing alive too early. We'll all fall asleep and wake up 3 hours later to her stretching her limbs out as far as she can while grunting and twisting. Its like sharing the bed with a miniature old man, really. This... doesn't cease to crack us up.
Evie chirps like a bird when alert, grunts when eating, and "wah-wah's" when you need to be doing something, anything, differently.
She still poops... frequently. She recently began farting & burps a deep, caverness belch.
Evie, is still a lot of work, but I'm beginning to understand the job a wee bit more and I am really enjoying the company of this little co-worker.

Ghetto-Ass Mobile

So, I thought mobiles were a complete waste of money. Turns out, many other things I registered for were. The mobile is actually a great item to have - I should have registered for one afterall.
Two of my friends (and fellow moms) made mobiles for their kids & I followed their lead.
Babies really do not "see" how much more spectacular an $89.99 musical mobile is verses a paper one fueled by the breeze of the overhead ceiling fan. This is a good thing about infants. When they are attending kindergarten - the appreciation for low-budget can change dramatically and you are suddenly spending more money thanks to classmates with rich (or spoiling) parents. So, for now, craft-time it is!
I spent a few hours concocting this made-from-scratch mobile yesterday morning. I had to create the graphics, individually cut them out... I then had to get soda straws and fishing line... get it to all balance out. Finally, Rob hung it tonight after Evie spent 12 intoxicating minutes staring at the living room ceiling fan.
"Rob! Look at this! I've never seen her so fascinated by anything for this long! You've got to hang that mobile! We are missing the window of opportunity here!"
I then ask him to take a picture of her watching it (and I was kinda proud of my craft project, low budget as it may be).
Rob says after the click of the camera, "Evie and her ghetto-ass mobile."
Thanks, honey. Thanks a lot.
Turd.

The perfect maternity leave day

Early feeding at 5:30AM and curl back into bed (all 3 of us) until the alarm goes off at 7:45AM. Setting the alarm gives me the opportunity to get dressed, brush my teeth! (a luxury these days), make coffee and then feed the baby again before marching outside for our morning stroll.
Walk to CVS to buy nail polish (I can now update my pedicure!).
Get home in time to clean the back patio and pull out a lawn chair from the basement.
Make mini sandwiches, grab a cool limeade and head outdoors to lay out in the sun with Harry Potter (yes, I wore my 10-year-old ill-fitting bikini and it barely covered the girls. I didn't care in the least).
An hour later, just a few minutes to cool off... hit the showers. Shampoo AND shave my legs.
Get out in time to feed a grumpy baby... and then watch her drift back to sleep.
Work on Rob's website for a short while and then curl up for an hour-long (motionless) nap. (I could have slept for another hour).
Wake up to feed baby and then make dinner (Mexican complete with a real beer and gaucomole, mmm!)
Clean up kitchen, time to blog and wait for final feeding before hitting the sheets tonight. (Evie will probably eat twice before calling it a night around 11PM).

Also worth noting - Evie didn't spit up once today (she did after every feeding only 2 days ago). Maybe my cutting her off before she gets too full is helping? Maybe moving her more slowly is working? Maybe the fact that I am eating more these days (instead of going for hours starving). Maybe the medicine has suddenly decided to start working? Maybe I need to just keep my fingers crossed and stop asking why....

All in all - an excellent day for mom.
And, I plan to recreate it again soon!

Size 1

"Evie gets weighed this Friday at the pediatrician. I bet she's over 8lbs now."

"I hope she's over 9."

"Really? Why?"

"Size 1 diapers."

"So?"

"Size 1's, they hold more."

"What's your point? That you can change her less often?"

"Well, yeah!"

"It doesn't work like that. Its not like there's an extra compartment in the size 1's where all the poo is whisked away from her butt and stored until you feel like changing her."

"There's not?"

Thumbsucker Vs. Pacifier

Yet another great debate - which habit is a worse habit? Which one is harder to break and which one will result in tears & frustration when I try and break it?
Now, I was a fore-finger sucker. Yes, the first finger. I would turn my finger upside down in my mouth (nail side down) and wave/curl my fingers as I sucked, sucked, sucked. I asked my mom when I stopped and how she broke the habit... apparently I decided for myself by announcing, "I 'm a big girl and I don't suck my fingers anymore!" Sounds like me, doesn't it? Gawd I was a strangely responsible child. I don't truly think I ever was a child... but that's a topic for another day.
Evie came out with the power to suck like one of those fish you see cleaning the insides of the tank at Red Lobster's. She would adhere to the sides of her hospital bassinet, the nurse's arm, people's necks and anyone's shirt. I also caught her shoving her fist in her mouth in the first few days and the nurse squealed, "Oh! A thumbsucker! I love thumbsuckers!"
I immediately gave her a pacifier.
Why?
Cause somehow it seemed a much easier habit to break. Plus, all those germs she'll have on her hands after a day in the store, at the park, using the potty - bleech! Somehow the pacifier I could control (like, a parent can truly control sucking behavior in any form. Yet another lesson I am learning more about - you cannot control behaviors, period. You can merely steer them one way or another and you can't do any of that with a newborn so quit trying) and regulate and clean.
After getting her a wee bit more attached to the pacifier verses her thumb - I THEN decided to read up on it. Turns out, they both have pros and cons...and neither is better than the other. The main pro-thumb I am noticing - the pacifier falls out so you gotta get up to stick it back in. Aw, geez does this stink at 2AM! Plus, parents tend to force the pacifier on their kids like a plug... and they create the habit it will become. Most kids naturally outgrow the comfort of sucking between 3-6 months (and most parents keep sticking in the pacifier at night to get kids to sleep & to comfort themselves). Hmmm, maybe I need to facilitate the thumb afterall.
So, I started sticking Eve's fist into her mouth at the 2AM wake-up until Rob would go nutso with the crying... and then I'd ultimately give her the pacifier. But, its seems to be working. She is getting better at finding her thumb and not simply bonking herself in the head again and again FRANTICALLY trying to get her thumb in her mouth (its funny and sad - she really does get SO frustrated trying to reach her thumb. We have to pull her hands down and give her a pacifier before she completely melts down in frustration with her lack of coordination).
So, here we are toddling between two worlds - one where she finds her own thumb if we don't answer her grunts fast enough and one where we give her a pacifier just after feedings in the middle of the night. I no longer care which one she decides to prefer (why not either/or?). She'll do what she wants to do and I have to stop trying to interfere in order to make her life (well, MY life) more organized and perfect. After all, I sucked my finger and was allowed to decide for myself. I should let her do the same.

Acid Reflux

Well, the MIL left last week Thursday (on a 7:50AM flight... poor thing then had to endure a delay which caused her connecting flight in Chicago to go on without her... her 3 hour trip quickly became an all-day-long adventure).
Evie and I were determined to see grandma off, so we got up early, ate and left with the group. We got back home just in time for her next feeding.
Now, backstory: just 2 days prior to this, Evie projectile upchucked nearly all the contents of her stomach shear moments after I finished feeding her. Rob and the MIL ran to my aide to then witness the huge amounts of milk that tumbled out of her and they heard the gasp-gasp-gasping sounds she was making. It was all very upsetting. MIL offered to then take her and I fixed a bottle... she seemed hungry after emptying out everything in her belly. As soon as she got the bottle, (she's not very good with a bottle and she makes it get all drippy) she started gasping and choking again. The MIL referred to it as "strangling on the bottle," which, sounds even more horrible than "choking," if you ask me. The whole scene was very upsetting and we gave up on the bottle all together. Eve eventually settled into a nap.
Fast forward to the day MIL flies out and we are back home feeding. Same thing happens,... again. Puke everywhere. The gasping, the red-faced look of holding her breath, the new mom freaking out screaming for Rob to DO sometthing... anything! And right now!
We cleaned her up and Rob left a VM with the pediatrician. I just know that something is wrong. They return the call after opening for business and we set the appointment for 9:15AM. The nurse takes a look at me, "You need sleep!"
Um, thanks. Stating the obvious, aren't we?
Evie weighs in at 7lbs 13 ounces. This kid has packed on 9 ounces in just 6 days. I'm realizing she may be a chub-chub-chub very soon. This thought makes me laugh.
Eve and I wait for the doctor. She's in a diaper & wrapped in a blanket. I rock/bounce her around the room. Suddenly, "Bleech!" The kid upchucks what mostly looks like water with a little spit up. I run out to grab the nurse so now she can SEE why we are here. Does she have a bug? Is she sick? OMG, I'm a horrible mom for dragging a 2 week old out in public...
The diagnosis? Acid Reflux.
Damned.
We now have to dismantle the hammock-swing she has been sleeping in (Sorry D + C... thanks for loaning it to us for the last 2 weeks. Oh well). She must be kept at a 45degree angle (sleep in a car seat or the swing) and constantly burped. Oh, and she has a prescription for "Axid" which she takes twice a day (the Target phramacy chick says, "If she doesn't like its bubble-gum flavor, we can reflavor it for free." "Um, yeah, she's 2 weeks old... she doesn't know what bubble gum... or cherry or grape is. But thanks, I'll letcha know.").
This... sucks.
Mom and dad are not realizing any joys to parenting.
Evie fusses furiously now just after eating. She squirms and cries and fights off sleep. We burp-burp-BURP her to no avail. Twenty minutes after she falls asleep, "Bleech!" she'll spill all over her clothes (or me or the chair or anything in the milk volcano's pathway). Then we strip everything down and start over. Now Eve's wide awake and crying at full volume and we start all over with the rocking, the bouncing, the burping and consoling. Actually, the consoling is becoming more and more of a "Give up and just give her a pacifier!" moment. Just last night we had a 2 hour ordeal which left us with 1 hour of sleep before the next feeding. *sigh*
I know, I know - this is fairly common. And yes, I know - I know, our problem is nothing compared to the very many things out there that are far worse. But, for some reason, your personal cross to bear ALWAYS seems worse than those around you who have larger, more akward crosses. Rob and I are just needing more signs of this being that "rewarding experience" we've heard so much about. Don't get me wrong - yes, we love her. And yes, she is adorable when out cold napping, happily nursing or awake & interactive. But the choking is unGodly scary (and making us stressed-out basketcases), the spitting up is wearing us out (when will she upchuck and can we risk taking her out in public or will she choke? Did I mention the pediatrician told me what to do if she turns blue? Not something you want to hear as a new mother...), and the hours of coaxing her back to sleep is wearing us thin.
I'm looking forward to this "phase" to wear itself out. And to think, just last week I was lamenting that she took 45 minutes to feed... now she is down in 20/25 minutes but cries for 45 minutes afterward. Oh, what, WHAT is the next phase?

Belly Button

Today, I pulled off your onesie to discover... that you finally had a belly button. Milestones, baby, milestones...

Admit it. You wanted to see it.

I wanted to know what T's C-Section looked like a day & a half after she had hers. I was so curious. I know WHERE they cut you and that they slice you across hip to hip... but what did it LOOK like? I don't think she shares my fascination with the bizarre, borderline gross, things involving biological science. She told me, "Maybe later."
My whole pregnancy was like a science lab experiment so it only seemed fitting that I'd see her fresh scar to complete my vision of what one type of labor & delivery looked like. This was also when I thought I'd never have a cesarean in a million years. I didn't think I'd get to share her experince firsthand. So, turns out I was wrong it and it was best she never showed me. The look of it is slightly frankenstein-ish... but, honestly, I think I'd do it again if/when we have kid #2. The experience was better than I imagines and, from what I hear, less pain than a vaginal birth. Sure, recovery sucks, but so do hemorroids from straining for hours and hours on end, right?
So, for my fellow "horror" lovers - here's photos. Cause there's nothing I love more than living unique life experiences - its documenting it all, too.

I think all doctors approach C-Sections differently. Mine used staples. Some use dissolvable sutures and some use glue (T said that's what she had). This photo was taken right after they removed the VERY ADHESIVE gauze bandage (that ripped off my skin! This hurt the worst of all...) the day after surgery.
The staples were removed (fearfully, but surprisingly, painlessly) the day we went home. This is 3 days post-op. Heals fast, huh? Who would have thunk it?

New family portraits

Here's a photo of us (3!) the day we left the hospital on Thursday July 5th. This was actually a nice photo - how often do you approve of everyone smiling & looking at the camera with their eyes open? Well, OK, maybe not ALL of us - Evie's eyes remained shut for the better part of 23hrs a day at this time. The fact that she isn't looking for food is photo opportunity enough for me.

The other photo was taken the day my mom left - Friday the 13th. Evie's 11 days old. She actually had a decent morning allowing us to sleep in (she fed at 5:30AM but I returned to bed for an hour). She let me shower AND put on make-up... and then she remained AWAKE for photos. Who-hoo! We piled outside to take advantage of this short-lived moment.

I'm finding that each day is COMPLETELY different than the one just before. There is no rhyme or reason to anything these days. Sometimes she sleeps and I have to wake her every 3 hours just to eat (at night we just her go and she generally is on a 3.5 hr. feeding cycle). Sometimes she fusses on/off for the better part of 2 hours with half-assed, sporadic feedings filling in 5-10 minute gaps.
I keep looking for a pattern of behavior (Does she eat around the same time day by day? Does she go to bed around the same hour so I can plan my night's sleep?) but there really isn't supposed to be one right now. This is a comforting thought to know that my kid is "average" and on target with the general baby audience. Although, I also get frustrated when I expect her to nap throughout the better part of the day only to find I can't seem to make her happy at all. Or that she wants to be stuck to me - eating (yes, I am nursing) - for up to 45 minutes with delays scattered throughout that time.
I have managed to figure out Evie's current eating style, though (which, will most likely change before this gets to press). She eats on one side and after 10-15 minutes she slumps off into what we call the "milk coma". She gets a huge, jiggly grin on her face and coos softly. Sometimes she twitches a little. She always stretches her arms up over her head and grunts back-n-forth, twisting her shoulder blades for an extra stretch. Then she smacks her lips and settles in on my lap. You must give her at least a FULL MINUTE to bask in this coma state before burping her or she will not only NOT burp ...but will whine a little, too. After burping her, she makes a "Robert DeNiro" squinty face and falls back ready for the next side. Sometimes—well, often, really—she needs to be changed at this time to wake her up. That, and this kid has EXPLOSIVE poopies that sound like an old catalytic converter back-firing. You have to time these things just right or you could end up with a splat on the changing table... we've had our fair share. The best is when she fills a diaper TWICE during one feeding. We must go through at LEAST 14-16 diapers a day. We are beginning to let her sit in a few to save the cash... is this wrong? (*wink*)
Parenthood is, so far, a humorous adventure...

Evie & Pacifier

So... damned... cute.

Announcing Eve (Evie) Amelia

Delivered via C-Sectionat 3:26PM on Monday, July 2nd
Bon Secours St. Mary's Hospital in Richmond, VA.
7lbs 5oz
19.5 inches

Mom and dad are excited, overwelmed, confused, scared, learning and growing as one new family.
We are also very happy.


She's here!

Dad gets a glimpse - and a footprint.

Mom gets her first look while dad holds her up.

Mom gets to hold her new daughter in post-op.

Stand By....

Please stand-by. My sanity will follow in the next few weeks. Having a baby is a very sobering experience!

In brief:
I ended up declining my mom's offer to stay with us and we came home alone (last week July 5th) . We "succeeded" at home that Thursday, Friday, Saturday and then on Sunday... I noticed my right breast getting red and hot to the touch. The baby wouldn't eat and cried. I got all upset... ok, hysterical. We were up all night and I had an emergency call-in doctor prescribe a penicillan-type of drug for what I thought was an infection caused by my SEVERELY cracked nips (turns out the baby has NOT been latching correctly and tearing me to shreds for the last 6 days. I'm talking blood and scabs, it was so freaking painful, I'd cry when she ate). It was horrible. The next day, Monday, we KNEW something was wrong and raced out to a lactation consultant. I looked like I had a recent boob job (my boobs were so swollen that my aereolas were white! My boobs were shiny and tight!) and the baby was limp. I cried. It was terrible. She helped straighten things out and said I was developing "mastitus" but I probably caught it in time and could reverse it. We relearned how to feed, how to pump for the first time and she told me to get off my feet because I was also developing edemia. I cried and cried thinking about how stupid I had been,... and then called my mom begging her to come here after all. Rob picked her up the very next morning from the border of North Carolina/Virginia where my dad drove her & dropped her off.
We are catching up now. We weren't eating, paying bills or even showering before 4PM. We were losing it.
So, bear with me, it may be a while before I blog, email or call. Sorry!

To Catherine, With Love

Catherine claims to have found this dress cute but never wore it when she was pregnant.
I thought this dress was hysterical & I never wore it either. Turns out, Rob thinks its cute, too. Go figure. Maybe the next pregnancy...

Tribute to Tatjana

Don't mess with the belly.

Tribute to Jessica

How do you like your sausage cooked? Barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen one last time...

Dear baby Ullman,

Well, in exactly 24 hrs you and I will both be questioning what we've gotten ourselves into. Hopefully, and I know we will, we will overcome this confusion and find out what a fun adventure awaits both of us. You will finally see the outside world and I will finally see you. You will have more of a voice & freedom from restricted movement. I will hear your cries & will be able to finally hold your hand.
I do want to warn you about a few more things since last time I wrote you.
Its hot outside (which is great for you since your little body can't regulate temperature in these first few weeks). Its also hot inside, your dad and I have a very old house and limited air conditioning units. So, you will be drier outside the womb but the heat's about the same. Hope you like it warm.
The dog's will be a little hyper when they first meet you. They mean well, they are just a little high-strung. They'll probably also be a little jealous and hold a grudge for some time. Do try and not take it too personally. They are new to you as you are to them and it can make for some testy waters. I'm sure, over time, you will all fall into a happy repertoire and enjoy each other's company.
Dad's real excited to meet you. You and I have had the opportunity to get to know one another over these last 9 months (you know that I like seafood and I know that you like sweets. I also know you hiccup after the foods you like and that you get punchy around 9PM... its when you like to stretch out as far as you can reach & when I like to rub you back to sleep). Dad, again, is really good with babies and kids. You'll love him (you are very lucky, you know). He says silly phrases and thinks he's funny all the time (ok, he IS funny. You know when you shake up & down furiously at night? When your nest feels like an earthquake? Thank your father for that - he's making me laugh again). I hope you find him just as entertaining as I do - cause it will make your childhood that much more enjoyable, memorable and fantastic.
I might be groggy when you first meet me. I hear you will be, too. We'll just have to bear it out with one another and work with what we've got. You and I will get better with time, I'm sure. Both our bellies will be sore (you get a belly button and I get a new scar). We just have to remain patient and understanding with one another. Now, it won't be easy... but we'll adjust and we'll try every step of the way, ok?
Well, I should sign off for now. Your father and I plan to spend some time alone together (isn't THAT a funny thought? You're right here in my belly with us afterall). Its a lovely day outside and I'm craving a near-beer on the back porch (or is that you craving it? You are my daughter! *wink*)
Rest up! Try not to keep me up too late tonight. Tomorrow's a big day and we have to put on a big performance. Get ready! A whole new life awaits you & I'm excited!
Love, mom.